Post # 1
I have a friend who myself and another friend are concerned about. She lives at home with her parents and has rather a sweet tooth, which is fair enough. However, in the last couple of days my other friend has spent time with her and each time she has eaten something “not healthy” chocolate, pastry etc – ok, no big deal – she is an adult and can eat what she likes. The problem is she always says, “I must hide this from my mum” or “don’t tell my mum”
This isn’t the first time this has happened – hiding her food from her mum. She has bought bags of things like cookies, sweets etc. and then tries to make one of us take it home with us so her mum doesn’t see what she has brought/eaten.
so do you think we should say something? My friend is worried that if we do, it’ll make her angry and she will lash out (literally) like she has done with her mum. However, I don’t think that fear of her is reason enough not to. My husband says that if she is choosing to be juvenile with her parents then that is her business – after all, she isn’t physically hurting herself. However, I don’t think this is a healthy attitude to have – especially when she is always saying things like, “I must not eat that” Or “I’m going to be good and not have a biscuit tonight” then will have one anyway…then says how big she is (really isn’t)
Post # 3
@FromA2B2013: I’d stay out of it… you can refuse to participate (i.e. don’t hide food for her) but otherwise I’d just let her do what she’s going to do.
I have a friend a couple years older than me that still lives with her parents, very juvenille and very dependent. She tries to use me as an excuse to hang out with her boyfriend or go out drinking (she’s 27 btw…I know) and I refuse to do that because I’m not in highschool.
I’m not going to lecture her about having independent finances, moving out, or basically growing up – but I’m not going to help her act like that either. If that makes sense.
Post # 4
Yeah, I would stay out of it too. It is a touchy subject and unless you are actually fearing for her health, I would just let her do what she wants.
Post # 5
i think you are both right. Unless it becomes a really bad, obsessional habit that affects her health. At the end of the day, she is an adult and can do what she likes.
But if she asks us to hide food for her then we will say no – she will either have to take it home or bin it!
Post # 6
This isn’t some huge ethical dilemma (honestly, I was expecting a major eating disorder intervention-type situation.) Just stay out of it; it isn’t your business. But it does sound like she is being childish.