(Closed) Friendless after getting married, anyone else?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3485 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Then why don’t you call them for a dinner? It could be that they just don’t know where your bounderies are for stuff like that.  

Post # 4
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve noticed a change just since I’ve been engaged.  I think it’s a normal thing that happens, though.

Post # 5
Member
4467 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@juliette.eliza:  Agree.  They might be unsure of what your boundaries are for hanging out with the girls.  Personally, I’m going to Vegas this weekend with my girlfriends and my husband goes on a trip with his guys without me.  They might think you don’t want to hang out anywhere without your husband anymore.

Post # 7
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Mrs.Jansen:  I’m struggling with the same thing with some of my single friends.  The reality is (which took me a LONG time to face the truth) – you are at a different life stage then they are and they are preferring to socialize with people in a similar life stage.

Some people can find a middle ground and continue the friendship on shared, common interests.  Others want nothing to change and expect the relationship to be the “go out all the time, party til the crack of dawn”.  Focus on the relationships that are willing to find a common ground.  In my experience, the others (the ones that only want to do what they want to do) end up fading (unless you are willing to make the effort ALL the time)… which doesn’t seem like much of a friendship to me.

Post # 8
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

In my case it’s different. My friends got married and just ignore our calls and messages.  We call and call but nothing. It made u so sad but we learned to deal. Now that Im engaged I feel I have  to stop myself from leaving the other girls

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it’s combination of things. I have had really close friends who get married and drop of the face of the earth. After a while you just start assuming they aren’t interested in coming and stop making an effort to include. Of course things change after we married as they should, but when I was single some of my friends got married and seem like they thought my singledom was diease they could catch or something. I also have a few friends who refuse to go anywhere without their spouse and that is annoying also even if I am friends with the spouse too.

I always wondered why there seems to be this change, after people get married. I hope it doesn’t happen to me. I do have a few close married friends whom I am still close with. Most of my friends/family my age who I hangout with are getting married or are in relationships so I hope it won’t be an issue for me.

I also second you making an effort and inviting them out or over for dinner.

Post # 11
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My friends are all married so we do things together all the time. DH, however, has not talked to or seen his friends since the wedding.  They are all single and don’t get it. I do feel bad for him though.

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