Post # 1
Hi ladies, I am feeling a bit down today because I feel like my friends dont include me in much anymore.
I know that being married changes things. When they invite me to Vegas for the weekend I dont go because I would not like my husband going to Vegas with a bunch of single guys so I show him the same respect. But when they are meeting for dinner, drinks or a movie, I don’t get the call.
The other day, they posted on FB (Facebook) that they were having a yummy dinner at a local restuarant down the street from my house. I dont even get a call to ask me to join them. I always tell them to let me know when they are getting together for dinner because I would love to catch up and hang out.
I dont know, it might just be me but I miss my girl time with my girlfriends. 🙁
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Then why don’t you call them for a dinner? It could be that they just don’t know where your bounderies are for stuff like that.
Post # 4
I’ve noticed a change just since I’ve been engaged. I think it’s a normal thing that happens, though.
Post # 5
@juliette.eliza: Agree. They might be unsure of what your boundaries are for hanging out with the girls. Personally, I’m going to Vegas this weekend with my girlfriends and my husband goes on a trip with his guys without me. They might think you don’t want to hang out anywhere without your husband anymore.
Post # 6
You are right ladies, I should call and invite them myself. I am honestly not interested in going to Vegas with the girls or partying like I use too but that does not mean I dont want to hang out with them.
I guess what does not help is that we are all in different stages in our lives. I am a newlywed, they are all mostly divorced or going through hard times in their marriages. They party about 3 days a week and I dont have the energy for that. lol
I will plan a date with my girlfriends and make more of an effort to see them.
Post # 7
@Mrs.Jansen: I’m struggling with the same thing with some of my single friends. The reality is (which took me a LONG time to face the truth) – you are at a different life stage then they are and they are preferring to socialize with people in a similar life stage.
Some people can find a middle ground and continue the friendship on shared, common interests. Others want nothing to change and expect the relationship to be the “go out all the time, party til the crack of dawn”. Focus on the relationships that are willing to find a common ground. In my experience, the others (the ones that only want to do what they want to do) end up fading (unless you are willing to make the effort ALL the time)… which doesn’t seem like much of a friendship to me.
Post # 8
In my case it’s different. My friends got married and just ignore our calls and messages. We call and call but nothing. It made u so sad but we learned to deal. Now that Im engaged I feel I have to stop myself from leaving the other girls
Post # 9
I think it’s combination of things. I have had really close friends who get married and drop of the face of the earth. After a while you just start assuming they aren’t interested in coming and stop making an effort to include. Of course things change after we married as they should, but when I was single some of my friends got married and seem like they thought my singledom was diease they could catch or something. I also have a few friends who refuse to go anywhere without their spouse and that is annoying also even if I am friends with the spouse too.
I always wondered why there seems to be this change, after people get married. I hope it doesn’t happen to me. I do have a few close married friends whom I am still close with. Most of my friends/family my age who I hangout with are getting married or are in relationships so I hope it won’t be an issue for me.
I also second you making an effort and inviting them out or over for dinner.
Post # 10
@TwoCityBride: Lunch plans have been made. 🙂 I really do need to make more of an effort to spend time with those that I love and not expect to be the one that is contacted.
Post # 11
My friends are all married so we do things together all the time. DH, however, has not talked to or seen his friends since the wedding. They are all single and don’t get it. I do feel bad for him though.
Post # 12
@Hobokenbride2012: I know what you mean. I feel bad because my DH does not have many friends. I feel bad when I am out doing things with mine when he is just at home. I try to encourage him to go out with my BF’s DH but he is so shy.