Friendor / Officiant Q

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@VanillaCoke:  Im not an etiquette guru, you need ThisTimeRound to pick up this post, she’s fantastic!

My feeble input; Ive never been to or heard of a wedding where the officiant was invited to the reception and ours certainly wont be. My FSIL used an aquaintance of the family/officiant but she felt in no way obligated to invite her to the reception (they had a good 90 people too FWIW)

But in saying that, things are so much different up there, and it varies alot from state-to-state to traditional places where you have them for dinner, to not so traditional places where its definitely not expected.

I really don’t think he would expect to be invited, let alone with his SO, but then we don’t know what kind of person he is. Could you see him beng upset if he wasn’t invited? You are paying him so really, I wouldn’t feel obligated for such a small wedding where he is also being payed for his services and is a non-out-of-work aquaintance. Taking all into account 🙂

Post # 4
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it is a matter of personal preference, and the situation.  If it is someone you are close to, such as your own pastor or a friend that can perform the ceremony, then sure.  If not, I don’t think that an officiant who doesn’t know you would want to be invited.  That being said, I am inviting mine, and his wife and baby daughter.  We have become friends since he started at my church, and I couldn’t imagine him and his lovely family not being there.

Post # 6
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

All weddings I have been to.. the officiant has been invited (with their spouse). Whether ot not they attendi s another story. 

Post # 7
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I have never been to a wedding where the officiant *was not* invited to the reception. The way I figure it, they can always choose to bow out of the reception gracefully. Many wind up just coming, eating and getting out ASAP. For just an acquaintance, I highly doubt they’ll be worried about offending you if they can’t make the reception.

If it were me, I would invite him and his wife.

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