Post # 1
We’ve just found out that some friends booked our venue (booked before us but we all just found out) for their wedding a couple of weeks before us. None of us are the type to steal ideas or anything, but I know the couple has good taste and might be going for something elegant like we are. I plan to discuss theme, colour, and dress with the other bride to make sure we aren’t having the same wedding, but I can’t help but be self-concious. The other bride is really gorgeous (like, she’s on TV- I’m normal and slightly chubby) and I’m worried that it will be natural for people to compare when our pictures are right after each other on Facebook with the same background. They’re also really artistic and might have a higher budget/more friends who can offer services. We don’t have a ton of overlap at the weddings, but there is a buch of overlap in extended friend groups.
Am I worried for nothing? I know this couple won’t do anything to sabotage or anything, they’re really lovely. I’m just worried about judgement-like if ours is ‘worse’ or more boring or if she looks better, especially with us going two weeks later. It’s hard to find something elegant in our price range, but I’m looking at alternative options. Would you try to change venues at this point or am I just being irrational and should I have a glass of wine and calm down?
Post # 2
Wiselizabeth: I vote wine. Chances are with decor, it won’t even look like the same place!
Post # 3
I understand your concerns I would be thinking the same thing. You mention that you only have a little bit of overlap in guests so I wouldn’t stress too much. Most guests compare weddings in someway wether or not they are at the same venue. I think the person most likely to compare is going to be you. I would maybe check to see what the other brides colors are and that is it. You don’t want to ask so much that you start trying to 1 up each other.
Post # 4
Wiselizabeth: Don’t change venues, don’t change anything! The weddings will be completely different. I’m sure the guest overlap will be small anyway.
I had lots of friends marry in the same church as me (including one who was 2 weeks before); and one used my reception venue a month after (in fact I suggested it to her!) It didn’t matter in the slightest.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
Wine is always good. If that doesn’t help much switch to tequila.
Honestly, I think YOU are the one that will make your wedding beautiful. People that love you will remember how lovely you are.
Post # 6
I can totally understand your concerns but I wouldn’t change your venue. Focus on you and your husband and make it the perfect wedding for you. So long as you do that, it doesn’t matter what their wedding is like. Try really hard not to fall victim to coparisions and copetition and I think you can both have wonderful weddings!
Post # 7
Wiselizabeth: You know what the biggest difference is between your wedding and hers? You and your fiance! Your wedding will be unique because it celebrates your love – and that is the most important thing (trite-sounding but true). So have a glass of wine, relax, and focus on making your wedding true to you (and try not to compare to much with your friends’ wedding).
Post # 8
Wiselizabeth: This almost happened to me when DH’s EX-GF showed up at a venue we considered for the appt after us. So awkward! I do really feel for you, it sucks to share and I get feeling a little insecure if you already had those thoughts prior to this going down. However I truly believe that on your day you will only be thinking about how exciting it is to be marrying your FI and how much fun everyone is having with you, so try not to worry about this. At least it sounds like you’re both lovely couples and things aren’t going the caddy competitive route. Push it out of your mind, and go with the decor and colors and style that you love regardless of overlap. I promise you your friends will only be thinking about you guys and having a fun time. Most people don’t notice all the details that we as the brides pour into the wedding anyway, so try not to worry!
Post # 9
Please don’t give this another thought. Unless you both had weddings with very specific themes and the themes were identical, or unless your bridesmaids are all wearing the same dress in the same color, no one will even compare your weddings. Elegant isn’t really a theme. Many people opt for formal, elegant weddings. There really isn’t any duplication in that.
Post # 10
Wiselizabeth: Biiiig glass of wine 🙂 and then remember even if the themes were the same, colours and everything, the people getting married are different. Your wedding will be uniquely you.
Post # 11
Wiselizabeth: When’s your wedding? Would you lose any money by switching, if so, don’t move. While I would be freaking out too if I were you, PPs are right. You’re the only one who will notice the similarities or differences and be comparing. Obviously the guests at both weddings will realize they’re at the same venue, but they will not spend the night doing a comparrison, I can promise you that.
Post # 12
I vote wine as well! Weddings are all unique.
Post # 13
Wiselizabeth: Don’t worry about it at all. Your wedding is unique because it has you and your FI in it. Same with the other couple’s wedding. Just take a breath, have a bit of wine, and remember to enjoy the planning process. I’m sure your wedding will be awesome and that you will look stunning. 🙂
Post # 14
Don’t worry about it. A good friend of mine had her wedding ceremony in the space we used for our reception only 3 weeks after we got married, and we had several mutual friends attend. Both events felt totally different and both were lovely. It will be fine! 🙂
Post # 15
3 of my 4 DDs had their receptions in the same venue. Each one was unique from the others and no one compared the weddings. Have some wine and stop worrying. When there is good food, music, and beverages people aren’t sitting there comparing weddings, they are celebrating with YOU!