(Closed) Friends bought gifts from places not on registry, where to return?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@brandybelle:  Try target or walmart

Why did she buy off-registry?! How strange!

Post # 5
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you’re not able to return, you can try selling on Craigslist or donating. I’d try Walmart and SAMs. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@brandybelle:  you said …they may not know that you are supposed to get what is on the registry

Not really. It’s a gift.

Post # 7
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

Many guests do not feel they are required to get what’s on the registry.

My great-aunt finds registries uncouth and never goes by them. She loves weddings, but she has very strong feelings about etiquette issues.

I often agree with her on many matters actually (I’m kinda old school) but “uncouth” is going too far! Registries are fine!

The sentiment that you are “supposed” to get gifts off the registry, though? Now that’s too far in the other direction!

Personally, I’ve never returned an item without a receipt or gift receipt. Not every gift-giver means for the item to be returnble. They may see that as rude.

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Indeed I for one don’t GET this modern idea that it is ALL or nothing from The Registry

The Registry is truly meant as a “Guideline” only

What ever happened to the idea that a Gift… ANY GIFT was given with LOVE

And that perhaps the Giftgiver took some well meant time to choose an item they thought one might need, want, enjoy ?

(And not something to be quickly disposed of … as if it was some great inconvenience)

Sure when I got married the first time, I received some gifts that weren’t necessarily “my taste” or didn’t fit in with my decor

BUT I certainly didn’t return them

I kept them, used them… and LOVED them

Soley Because they had been given to me with LOVE

Lol, and here I am 30+ years later in my life, and I still have many of my original Wedding Presents (sure a great deal of them off The Registry)

BUT they’ve all been good to me, and served a purpose, and to this day I still use them and think about WHO gave em to me

(And in some cases… sadly those folks … Great Aunts & Uncles and such… are dead and gone now… so these gifts serve as one of my few connections to them thru time)

A whole other perspective… perhaps ??

 

Post # 9
Hostess
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You have to take them back to the same store where they came. You’ll also almost certainly need a gift reciept.

Try bed bath and beyond though – they have a pretty phenomenal return policy last time I needed to take something back there. You might be able to get store credit if they sell the same things.

And no, your guests are not obligated to stick to your registry. 

Post # 10
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

sigh okay I can’t word this in a way that doesn’t sound bitchy to people who bought gifts not from the registry, and I don’t MEAN it to sound bitchy so I’m just deleting it. I appreciate that they tried, even if the gifts were wildly misguided and things that could have killed me, perhaps quite literally since some were things I’m badly allergic to.

Post # 11
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just regift the ones you don’t like/can’t use, and be glad they brought a gift at all. Some people don’t! It will save you the gas money and time of running all around town trying to find the item, and will also save you some money on Christmas/birthday presents in the upcoming year. Just remember who gave you what!

Post # 12
Member
8314 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@distracts:  See I find that strange. If the guest doesn’t know the B&G  well enough why are you inviting them to your wedding?Maybe the problem nowdays is that B&G’s feel like they have to invite every man and his dog to their wedding.

Post # 13
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @distracts:  ok, I get the health concerns… guessing that whomever gave you the gift didn’t know that info about you etc.

BUT still, I have to say your post has an element of sounding Ungrateful vs Gracious… and for me at least, therein lies the rub.

A gift is given with some thought attached to it… when you reject the gift… you are in a sense rejecting that and or the person who gave it as well IMO

 

Post # 14
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I am so shocked to hear (not for the first time) that someone on the bee wants to return a gift to a store where it wasn’t purchase. You cannot do that! Stores do not just take random goods that they did not sell back in exchange for cash. Goodwill or craigslist will do that. Otherwise, be appreciative people got you gifts or donate it. 

If you’re sure something came from a certain store, try it but don’t be surprised if they require a gift receipt. 

Post # 15
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@j_jaye:  I did not – they are my mother’s best friends, who she invited. I would not have, but my mother is paying, she wants her friends to come. I didn’t want to invite them to the shower either because it felt weird to me to invite people I didn’t really know, but they invited my mom to their daughters’ showers so she wanted to invite them to mine. I don’t get it and I would not have invited them if it was solely up to me. And my wedding is only 200 people, so I don’t think I am inviting the entire known universe, just family (over a hundred of the people invited, and those are just the family we see and talk to regularly), close friends, and a few of my parents’ best friends.

@This Time Round:  Yeah, before you even posted your comment I edited mine because I really didn’t mean for it to sound that way. Part of it is because it’s hard to not be snarky about gifts that could kill you. Part of it is because I’m a list-gifter and it’s incomprehensible to me why you would get someone something they probably don’t want when you could get them something you KNOW for 100% sure they do want. But I know that’s not everyone’s gifting strategy. Mine is to get something they want and will use. My fiance likes to give gifts that express his unique understanding of the person (which in my experience, often reveals that he has a really, really weird understanding of me). My grandmother just gives whatever she wants you to have. My dad gives whatever he bought at Starbucks on his way to the event (mostly Starbucks gift cards). But to some part of me it always seems rude to get someone something they probably don’t want. Like, waste of money, waste of space, waste of energy on the parts of all involved. I just really don’t get it, and when the gifts were so wildly inappropriate in terms of health issues, it really annoys me. I am very glad they came to the shower as it is good to see them, and wrote nice thank-yous for the gifts, but that’s about as far as my graciousness extends.

@BlondeMissMolly:  Haha yeah. I didn’t even address the OP because… what? You don’t just return stuff to random places. That doesn’t make any kind of sense.

Post # 16
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

@distracts:  but the thing that kills me is I have seen the same thing asked here more than once before. As if there’s a central gift return agency who takes goods back for cash regardless of where they were purchased. Like….I learned how shopping worked by the time I was 10 lol. Maybe I just shop too much?

Also, I agree 100% re: gifting strategy. I buy people stuff I know they want. But, if someone gets me a gift I didn’t register for, I would still be gracious and use it (or return if I knew I could). 

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