(Closed) Friend’s bride hates me….for no reason

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@KayDubs: Then you don’t attend. If you don’t support the marriage then you don’t have to go. 

I think that your issue should be with him and not with her. He’s chosing to not have the friendship. She may be on the other side telling him she doesn’t like it, but it is his choice to carry on with you or not.

People who talk about people like this are immature in my opinion. Sitting wrong stating that a marriage is wrong is nuts. Support your friends if you love them and if you don’t, then don’t attend. 

Post # 5
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s easy to place all the blame on the bride but really, you should be upset with your friend. He’s the one that’s pretty much ended your friendship. Even if his FI doesn’t like you, it’s up to him to set the boundaries.

I’m also guessing that telling him you don’t approve of their marriage doesn’t give her super warm and fuzzy feelings about you either.

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@KayDubs: Again that’s his choice. It sucks, but he’s doing it for a reason.

Post # 9
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@KayDubs: haha ok 🙂 When I read your original post, I was thinking “Uhh..well…that might give her a bad feeling” lol

Post # 10
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think it’s naive to expect that an opposite sex best friends relationship will never change and would survive a marriage unscathed. It’s normal for friends of the same sex to have less time for old friends when they’re infatuated with a relationship, but if you’re opposite sex it’s just a given. Sorry this just strikes me as weird to be so upset. Yea it sucks watching a friend marry someone that seems really obnoxious, but I don’t know what you’re supposed to do about it.

Post # 11
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I just want to say I understand your frustration :-(. I have a guy friend that I am really close to (he lived with my FI back in college). We used to go to an exercise class together once a week (his friend, another guy, would come as well). Ever since my friend started dating this new girl, he’s really drawn back from things. It’s been really disappointing. Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution :-(.

  My guess is that Bob’s fiancee probably feels threatened by you. Even though you aren’t a romantic threat, you do know her future husband well, you’ve shared some good times, and that probably doesn’t sit well with her. Unfortunately, the only piece of advice I can give you is to continue to take the high road, because if you do something that she perceives as slightly wrong, she will probably blow it out of proportion.

Post # 13
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@keepsmiling19: very well put! i agree. 

and I also agree, if you cannot be happy for your friend, no matter how much you love him, I do not think you should go to the wedding.  However, sending a nice card and maybe a gift would be a nice gesture.

But its his day, he will be able to sense tension (everyone does).  Even if its not you causing it. 

He has chosen this for your guys, not you.  Sounds like you have put forth an effort, with no good outcome. 

So really pray about it (if you pray)  and wait for an answer.  I really don’t think I would go, because I wouldn’t want the bride to get drunk (like you say she does) and start talking stuff to make the evening uncomfortable for everyone.

just my 2 cents

Post # 15
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KayDubs:  ah good point, about her not thinking you went because you would be “broken hearted” I never looked at it that way i guess…

did the wedding happen yet? or please let us know how it went. 

I really hope it goes well…

 

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