Weddingbee boards

I have been so surprised that with the exception of FMIL, most family have been quiet about who we invited or didn't invite to the wedding. I have been surprised that it is some friends who have made comments about people I couldn't invite. If we had the money and the space, these are people I would have loved to invite, but it's just not possible.

For example: a dear friend asked if I invited about a dozen or so people we used to work with. We're all friends on FB, but it's not like we even talk these days and we all live in different cities. So when I told her that no, unfortunately I couldn't, she gasped and exclaimed that she couldn't believe I didbn't invite them. Hellooooo...it's not like they're inviting me to their baby showers and weddings and graduation parties. And I'm okay with that because we're all in different places in our lives. I think they're great people, I just can't afford to invited everyone under the sun to the wedding.

Anyone else get odd comments from their friends about your guest list?

I got them too. Or I got comments from people I'm not inviting saying "I'd better be invited." I have a similar problem to you. These people are FB friends but I just dont talk to them anymore so why invite them?

I got a few "Is this person coming?"  None of those people in that hate quadrangle could make it, though (one of them is cat-sitting for us, though.)

I also got 3 after-all-but-3-RSVPs-are-back "hey, we need to invite this couple!"  One couple (parents of one ot FI's friends) knew they couldn't come, we knew they couldn't come, but they were upset they didn't get an official invite.  The other two are coming (friends of my parents who apparently asked if they could come - a little odd, but OK, and the guy who baptized me.)

My thought is to my friends who have made those comments "Just want until you plan a wedding...."

All the time.  It's super-awkward.  My MOH was even judgy about our guest list!  When she caught a peek of it, she was like, "Wow...I don't know anyone on there.  Can't you invite some people we know?"  I just said, "Take that up with my parents," since they're the ones footing the bill. 

Ugh, it was FMIL who was annoying about this. She had a huge list of friends, which is fine b/c FI has a tiny family, but we were working on a small space/budget so had to be judicious about who to include. There were a bunch of old neighbors on there who had moved away, so FI and I chopped them off without much of a problem. Of course she kept saying how So and So would feel bad for not being included. At some point FI said to her, "Well, seeing as how you haven't talked to them in years, how would you know?" That seemed to work OK.

I'm concerned about the possibility of this. We've already sketched out a rough guest list on our own, but with the wedding being so far away and us not having any family talks yet I'm terrified that either his or my family will want to add a bunch of people. So far we've got a list of 85, which is perfect - all are people we know and love, and it leaves extra room for a few more (such as +1's and friends we might make over the next year and a half) since the reception location we're looking at seats 125 total. He and I have fairly small families, and I'm estranged from a good portion of mine, but there's always that niggling fear that someone in either of our families will freak and insist EVERY SINGLE cousin, aunt, etc. gets an invite. x_x

As far as what your friend said, honestly I would just tell anyone who says something like that in the future that you are looking for an intimate affair with people you and the groom are close to. It's really none of their business, as it's YOUR wedding :)