Post # 1
I have been so surprised that with the exception of FMIL, most family have been quiet about who we invited or didn’t invite to the wedding. I have been surprised that it is some friends who have made comments about people I couldn’t invite. If we had the money and the space, these are people I would have loved to invite, but it’s just not possible.
For example: a dear friend asked if I invited about a dozen or so people we used to work with. We’re all friends on FB, but it’s not like we even talk these days and we all live in different cities. So when I told her that no, unfortunately I couldn’t, she gasped and exclaimed that she couldn’t believe I didbn’t invite them. Hellooooo…it’s not like they’re inviting me to their baby showers and weddings and graduation parties. And I’m okay with that because we’re all in different places in our lives. I think they’re great people, I just can’t afford to invited everyone under the sun to the wedding.
Anyone else get odd comments from their friends about your guest list?
Post # 3
I got them too. Or I got comments from people I’m not inviting saying “I’d better be invited.” I have a similar problem to you. These people are FB friends but I just dont talk to them anymore so why invite them?
Post # 4
I have. I’ve gotten comments from family I’ve not heard from for years and old friends I haven’t spoken to in years. I just tell them that we are on a very tight budget (we are) and leave it at that. I will not be pushed around
Post # 5
I got a few “Is this person coming?” None of those people in that hate quadrangle could make it, though (one of them is cat-sitting for us, though.)
I also got 3 after-all-but-3-RSVPs-are-back “hey, we need to invite this couple!” One couple (parents of one ot FI’s friends) knew they couldn’t come, we knew they couldn’t come, but they were upset they didn’t get an official invite. The other two are coming (friends of my parents who apparently asked if they could come – a little odd, but OK, and the guy who baptized me.)
Post # 6
Yep. I got tons of those. It was awkward at times. I just stood my ground knowing that I made the right decisions for me.
Post # 7
I got a pretty nasty comment from someone I didn’t invite. I was standing around in a room with a bunch of people who are my classmates and aquaintances (but not really close friends), most of which I am not inviting to the wedding. One of them, who I have known for about four years, asked me about my wedding. After responding politely he asked me if he was invited. Now this is not only a rude question in itself, but he also asked it in front of all these other people who are not invited either. I mean, if you have to ask it’s not looking good, right? So, I decided to be joky about it (not unusual for our relationship) and said jokingly “Are you going to pay for your own meal?” Well he obviously realized what that meant and started berating me about how long we’d known each other and blah blah blah….
Needless to say, his attitude (and the fact that FI hates him) did not gain him an invitation.
Post # 8
My thought is to my friends who have made those comments “Just want until you plan a wedding….”
Post # 9
All the time. It’s super-awkward. My MOH was even judgy about our guest list! When she caught a peek of it, she was like, “Wow…I don’t know anyone on there. Can’t you invite some people we know?” I just said, “Take that up with my parents,” since they’re the ones footing the bill.
Post # 10
Ugh, it was FMIL who was annoying about this. She had a huge list of friends, which is fine b/c FI has a tiny family, but we were working on a small space/budget so had to be judicious about who to include. There were a bunch of old neighbors on there who had moved away, so FI and I chopped them off without much of a problem. Of course she kept saying how So and So would feel bad for not being included. At some point FI said to her, “Well, seeing as how you haven’t talked to them in years, how would you know?” That seemed to work OK.
Post # 11
FI got a few questions about people he put on our list, but for the most part I really don’t care what people think. We included the most important people to us and that is who we are inviting. It is nobody else’s business who we invite or why we invite them. All they need to worry about is showing up if they RSVP Yes.
Post # 12
I’m concerned about the possibility of this. We’ve already sketched out a rough guest list on our own, but with the wedding being so far away and us not having any family talks yet I’m terrified that either his or my family will want to add a bunch of people. So far we’ve got a list of 85, which is perfect – all are people we know and love, and it leaves extra room for a few more (such as +1’s and friends we might make over the next year and a half) since the reception location we’re looking at seats 125 total. He and I have fairly small families, and I’m estranged from a good portion of mine, but there’s always that niggling fear that someone in either of our families will freak and insist EVERY SINGLE cousin, aunt, etc. gets an invite. x_x
As far as what your friend said, honestly I would just tell anyone who says something like that in the future that you are looking for an intimate affair with people you and the groom are close to. It’s really none of their business, as it’s YOUR wedding 🙂
Post # 13
One of my friends from college suddenly came out of nowhere and straight up asked me if he was invited. Ummm I haven’t seen you since graduation, that would be a no! I apologized and told him no as we’re inviting mostly family and very few friends (which is the truth!!) and he started interrogating me about which friends I was inviting!! Then he said he would just find out which mutual friends I was inviting and get them to take him as their guest. Seriously, what is wrong with people?
Post # 14
my uncle/godfather, who i literally haven’t heard a word from in 11 years, emailed me out of the blue and asked when the date was. he also made sure to tell me how much he loves traveling. i just had to laugh.
i’ve already gotten some of this: both people asking if they are invited and others asking who else is invited.
if you ask if you’re invited, part of me wants to automatically cross you off the list haha.
and for those giving us a hard time about NOT inviting mutual friends, i just tell them we can’t afford to invite people we don’t have close relationships with anymore. i find that people do this most when one of THEIR close friends aren’t invited.
Post # 15
I’m an actress at a local festival, where I play a popular roaming character. Last weekend, some patron guy whose name I’ve never even heard before but who I’ve seen around the festival a few times came up and asked me if I was really engaged (the character I play is engaged, too). I didn’t drop character, but I said yes, and started giving my character’s engagement story. With that, the guy looked me right in the eye and asked, “Will you be inviting everyone from the festival who you love so much to your wedding? Like me???” I told him we couldn’t afford it. Then he looked at me and said, “So tell me, if you love this festival so much, and you love the people here so much, why the HELL aren’t you getting married HERE?”
I was so pissed. Keep in mind, this was only the second conversation I’ve ever even HAD with this guy. I saw him for the first time in my life about a month ago, and I have no clue what his name is. WTF.
I’m not getting married there because I’m trying to avoid people like him.