Friend's destination wedding?

posted 1 week ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
6390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

No. Weddings are never tit-for-tat. An invite is not a summons. If they couldn’t afford or didn’t want to spend the money to come to your wedding they are under no obligation to. By the same token, you are under no obligation to attend theirs. That doesn’t mean they won’t be offended or upset though.

Post # 3
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

You are NOT obligated to go. That is a huge money investment and no one can expect you to pay that to attend there wedding 

Post # 4
4706 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You attend the weddings you want to attend, they can attend the ones they want to attend.  There’s no regulation regarding attending each others’ that’s just silly.  No way in hell I’d spend that much of my salary on anyone’s wedding either (I actually also wouldn’t attend yours, lol).  That’s more than I paid for my own wedding!

Post # 7
4018 posts
Honey bee

I definitely would not be spending 12K to go to a wedding. The thing is, unless your whole family and friends list lives in the town where you’re having your wedding, some people will have to travel if they choose to come- so I don’t think having to spend SOME money to get to a wedding is unreasonable. However, once you hit 5 figures, you have to expect some people to not be able to make it.

Post # 9
286 posts
Helper bee

Well how much would it be just to fly down for one day and then go back the day after?

I wouldn’t spend nearly that much to attend a wedding but I don’t think it’s quite fair that you say on one hand you’re giving people plenty of options, but on the other hand her wedding would cost 12k. I’m sure that’s only if you spend an week or more there (like you said an all inculaive beach side resort in Mexico) and you can easily spend thousands going to Disney for a week with two people also.

Post # 10
2951 posts
Sugar bee

bibbidibobbidiboo92 :  That sounds a lot! I know someone who had a DW in one of those Mexican Riviera resorts. And for a 4 night stay, the guests had to fork out about $2000 each. The website stated that 80% of guests MUST stay at the resort where the wedding was held. Meanwhile, the couple pays only less than $5000 total (these are info I read from their DW packages direct from the website). Obviously the wedding costs are getting transferred to the guests instead. I wonder if this resort has a similar set-up.

Post # 11
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t think you’re under any obligation to go. Couples understand when they choose a destination wedding that some people will choose not to attend.  I would tell her well in advance if you decide not to go so she is aware before your wedding. but $12,000 must be for an extended period of time. It can’t possibly be for a few days, right? I went to a luxury all inclusive Mexican resort last year for 10 nights and it definitely did not cost us $12,000, including flights from the Northeast. 

And I agree with PP, i went to Disney 3 months ago and was shocked by how expensive it has become. We could have easily gone to the Caribbean for the same price. 

Post # 15
41 posts

When booking all inclusives sometimes the cost can be crazy if you put in dates that way in the future.  Same with flights. I would try out seeing what the cost would be to go in say 6 months and compare. Otherwise maybe staying at a resort nearby would be an option that lets you attend. 

But no, no one expects you to spend 12 grand to attend their wedding unless you are loaded or they are crazy! 

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