Friends didn't RSVP/show up for engagement party…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@kristen182:  Relationships can change when situations change. I had “work friends” in my old job and I always knew that it was situational – when I left the job, I wouldn’t continue being friends with them. It sounds like maintaining the relationship isn’t as important to them as it is to you. Even if they didn’t attend, they could have at least let you know. It’s weird that it was all 3, as though they had talked about it or something.

I would focus on the good folks you do have in your life and not worry about ones like this.

Post # 4
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t know, your feelings are valid but I think you might be overreacting a bit. Adults are busy! Lives are busy! It was a casual backyard BBQ you invited them to on facebook. I’m sure they equated it with any other social function/get together that they maybe couldn’t attend.

I admit, sometimes in my life I just don’t want to go to events I’m invited to. Sometimes I forget they’re happeni

ng and I don’t follow up with friends. But this doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friendships! I don’t think you should be willing to write them off because of one event. They invited you to a BBQ – they obviously still value your friendship. so I would probably just ask them about it the next time I saw them. No biggie. I’m sure they all had valid reasons…. or just didn’t want to come! and that’s okay.

It has been said sooo many times before on the bee but no one will care about your wedding (and wedding related events) as much as you do. It doesn’t mean tthey don’t care about you!

Post # 5
243 posts
Helper bee

id be upset…I have had people in my life where when serious things have happened, I could not count on sucks, but it makes u realize that not everyone will always be there for you. I dont keep people like that in my life, one of the many reasons why I dont have many close friends. I almost always end up dissapointed. The people who did show up…those are the ones you need to keep close ties with

Post # 6
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You did say it was a very casual party…maybe they really didn’t that their presence would be missed.  Or maybe they thought it was more appropriate for close friends and family?

Post # 7
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Maybe the casual-ness of the invite, and the party itself, made the impression that you wouldn’t mind if they skipped it. Obviously if they are inviting you out to something now, after the fact, they don’t realize you might be peeved. Plus, people are flakes in general.

Post # 8
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@kristen182:  What should you do? I think you should ask them what happened next time you see them and let them know that your feelings were hurt. Being direct is a respectable and polite way to get along in life. It leads to a lot less wondering too.

Post # 9
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I understand you correctly, your party was in another town from where you are living now. (If I misunderstood, ignore everything I say).

I think there are a combination of explanations:

– your invitation was so casual they didn’t realize it even needed a response

– despite the fact that they said they would get back to you, they really didn’t want to travel out of town for your celebration

-they may have been embarassed that they didn’t want to go, and thus avoided dealing with the issue.

– their parents didn’t do a good job teaching them manners

Post # 11
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe they just don’t believe in engagement parties. I don’t, for example.

If they fail to RSVP to the wedding, maybe they are not your friends.

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