Post # 1
I am furious at the situation I had been put in recently
Background: My FI’s best man’ ex girlfriend and I are good friends. We became friends because of this. Best man has a new girlfriend now (been dating for over a year now) and while we all tried to be civil in social situations, it is not something they can do. I have also become friends with best man’s new girlfriend.
Good friend told me the other day that she would not attend my bachelorett cruise if New girlfriend went.
All we were discussing was inviting. We don’t know if she will attend, or not. This is the preliminary guest list. She freaked out and told me this basically giving me an ultamatum and putting me in a tough position.
I think if your friend really means anything to you that you would go and be supportive and suck it up. Why miss out on a fun event because of one insignificant (to her) person?
Am I wrong to be upset?
Post # 3
Yikes – that’s a tough one. I think you totally have the right to be upset. She should try to put her issues aside and come to your party. And you are totally right – it’s possible that new girlfriend won’t even come!
Now, if I were the old girlfriend, it would likely be a little hard emotionally. But I’d do my best to suck it up. The only thing I could see that would justify the old girlfriend would be if there were more history. Like if this new girl started up with the boyfriend while the old couple was still together. Or lots of nastiness between all of them post break-up.
But if you are friends with both of them, they should try their best to be nice to each other and attend your party.
Post # 4
Your friend needs to grow up and learn how to maturely deal with her decisions and their consequences… She dated the guy and for whatever reason it ended… that doesn’t mean he cannot ever date again or you cannot become friends with his new SO… considering this guy is your Fiance bestman it’s likely that as long as your FH and him stay close, you’ll be close with his SO… your friend needs to just suck it up and be an adult.
Post # 5
I don’t think you are wrong to be upset. I think you should tell good friend that she needs to put herself in your shoes and not make it difficult by putting you in this situation. For one night, she should be able to act grown up and get over the fact that her ex has moved on, especially since it has been over a year. Throwing a tantrum over your invite list is not necessary and if she still refuses, I think you should say sorry you don’t understand where I’m coming from, we will miss you that evening.
Post # 6
Your friend does need to grow up. It’s not a fun situation for her. I get that, but someone with maturity puts their own issues aside for the sake of the other person. She should suck it up and deal with her feelings and go and support you.
Post # 7
Guests don’t decide the guest list- hosts and hostesses do.
Her behavior is completely inappropriate. Time for her to grow up and learn how to behave with grace and dignity in uncomfortable social situations.
We’ve all been there and survived.
Post # 8
I agree with everyone else, she needs to get over it. She’s not there for the new gf, she’s there for you. Its not like it will just be the 3 of you