Post # 1
im posting anonymously although have been a member for a while. really could use some advice on if i should mind my own business. my 25 year old beautiful, sweet and successful friend just married the “love of her life”. I recently found out her 31 year old husband has cheated on her at least twice, one being a serious affair a few months after he proposed. It ended only because the married woman wanted out and apparently he was bringing her back to their new house (as per a nosey neighbour) This guy I have always felt is a loser taking advantage of her but I have kept my mouth shut because she is happy. She is educated, responsible and has a good future ahead of her. He has worked a minimum wage job for 8 years (which he recently was laid off from) and didnt even finish highschool. He has all this money for designer things (louis vuitton, chanel, tiffany) and buys her all these things but must be doing something shady to afford this or is in serious debt. Anyways, had she have known about this cheating I doubt she would have married him. He also has a reputation of being the biggest flirt and admitted to his male friends he has cheated even before this. I doubt he has changed but they are married now. Do I keep my mouth shut about this? She is way too good for him but is totally in love.
Post # 3
Ugh, that’s horrible. Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything unless you have some kind of very strong proof. If he denies it and she believes him over you, it would most likely ruin your friendship.
Post # 4
Considering you got this information from a third party, who may not even be correct about said information and/or lying, I wouldn’t say anything.
Post # 5
Its definitely true. He is scum. Its her first longterm relationship. He even cheated on her and broke up with her once before. They had just bought their first home together when it began too. Ugh. I wish I had known before they married.
Post # 6
I always say people know more about their SOs than they let on. Mind your business. If he so bold to be bringing back is side piece to their home, she will find out.
Post # 7
@what2say: If he already cheated and broke up with her once, and she got back together with him, what makes you think this knowledge would change her mind about him at all? :/
I do think you should probably not say anything, unless you have super strong proof, like @howsweetitis said.
Post # 8
Don’t say anything. Without solid proof – like pictures or a confession or something – she will likely break up with YOU, not him, if you say something. Perhaps enlist that nosey neighbor to take pictures and send them to you or her next time.
Post # 9
@what2say: Do you have any proof you can give her? She may know of suspect a lot of the scummy things about himbut choose to ignore it or not believe it, so if you tell her and it is just your word against his, you might come out on the bad side of that.
That said, if a good friend of mine knew my boy was cheating and didn’t tell me and I later found out, the friendship would be over instantly. Plus, her health is at stake here, big time, and I think her safety is more important than her liking you, honestly. I might try to get some proof (like if his friends have told you, talk to them about it again, only secretly record it on your cell phone maybe?) and then tell her asap.
People are right, she might get mad at YOU instead, but if it were me, I’d still tell my friend.
Post # 10
If you definitely know it’s true, then you definitely have proof outside of this neighbor. If you don’t have proof, keep it to yourself. She won’t believe you anyway and you’ll not only lose your friendship, she’ll stay with him.
Post # 11
Well, if she took him back after cheating already.. why would this information change anything? Ignorance is bliss to some people and no amount of fact will change that.
Post # 12
i really dont want to interfere. i would want to know if it was me but maybe she does know on some level. i thought she was crazy to say yes to marriage when they had only been back together 2 months. i guess i will say nothing. thanks for the advice. im not sure she thinks he cheated the first time either. is a great storyteller! he is loud, arrogant and cocky. she is the opposite. he always has new girl “friends”. it is none of my business i just felt bad for her.
Post # 13
Leave it alone. Unfortunately they’re married, so it’s just not worth saying anything until she decides to divorce him…
Post # 14
Yup he tricked her into marriage and now even if he does it again she probably wont leave. I will leave it alone and hope that he messes up and is caught.
Post # 15
@what2say: OMG he tricked her into marriage?!? Does she know this? How did it happen? Maybe you should say something!
Post # 16
@what2say: I disagree with PPs. Tell her what you know.
Not “he is cheating”, but exactly what you know, e.g. “I have heard on good authority that he has done X and Y. I have personally witnessed Z”. What she does with that information is up to her.
If I was with a cheater, and friends knew things but didn’t tell me, I’d be angry with them. That’s what friends do. They help their friend. Even if she doesn’t believe you, you’ve maybe planted the first seed to her coming to her senses.