Friends fiance, now husband is a dirtbag and she has no idea

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ugh, that’s horrible. Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything unless you have some kind of very strong proof. If he denies it and she believes him over you, it would most likely ruin your friendship.

Post # 4
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Considering you got this information from a third party, who may not even be correct about said information and/or lying, I wouldn’t say anything.

 

Post # 6
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Hyperventilate:  +1.

I always say people know more about their SOs than they let on. Mind your business. If he so bold to be bringing back is side piece to their home, she will find out.

 

Post # 7
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@what2say:  If he already cheated and broke up with her once, and she got back together with him, what makes you think this knowledge would change her mind about him at all? :/

 

I do think you should probably not say anything, unless you have super strong proof, like @howsweetitis said. 

Post # 8
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t say anything. Without solid proof – like pictures or a confession or something – she will likely break up with YOU, not him, if you say something. Perhaps enlist that nosey neighbor to take pictures and send them to you or her next time.

Post # 9
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@what2say:  Do you have any proof you can give her? She may know of suspect a lot of the scummy things about himbut choose to ignore it or not believe it, so if you tell her and it is just your word against his, you might come out on the bad side of that.

That said, if a good friend of mine knew my boy was cheating and didn’t tell me and I later found out, the friendship would be over instantly. Plus, her health is at stake here, big time, and I think her safety is more important than her liking you, honestly. I might try to get some proof (like if his friends have told you, talk to them about it again, only secretly record it on your cell phone maybe?) and then tell her asap. 

People are right, she might get mad at YOU instead, but if it were me, I’d still tell my friend.

Post # 10
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you definitely know it’s true, then you definitely have proof outside of this neighbor. If you don’t have proof, keep it to yourself. She won’t believe you anyway and you’ll not only lose your friendship, she’ll stay with him.

Post # 11
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Well, if she took him back after cheating already.. why would this information change anything? Ignorance is bliss to some people and no amount of fact will change that. 

Post # 13
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Leave it alone. Unfortunately they’re married, so it’s just not worth saying anything until she decides to divorce him…

Post # 15
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@what2say:  OMG he tricked her into marriage?!?  Does she know this? How did it happen?  Maybe you should say something!

Post # 16
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@what2say:  I disagree with PPs. Tell her what you know.

Not “he is cheating”, but exactly what you know, e.g. “I have heard on good authority that he has done X and Y. I have personally witnessed Z”. What she does with that information is up to her.

If I was with a cheater, and friends knew things but didn’t tell me, I’d be angry with them. That’s what friends do. They help their friend. Even if she doesn’t believe you, you’ve maybe planted the first seed to her coming to her senses.

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