- aunt pol
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Right, I’ll try to boil it down. We have a mutual friend, S. More FI’s friend, but pretty much equally shared the last few yrs – me for relationship talk, Fiance for sci fi talk etc. Ten yrs of friendship now.
So. S started seeing a girl last yr. We’ve never met her. Shortly after he started dating her, he heard (he’s a cop) that she’d been brought in/charged/cautioned (not 100% sure which) because she went shopping, and left her 6 month old baby in the car alone, in a multi storey car park. For a couple hours.
He brought it up with her, and she genuinely didn’t think she’d done anything wrong. He felt differently, and they split up. He told us about it at the time. We were pretty stunned – who does that? – but didn’t say much.
Forward to this spring. We met up with S to go cinema, and sat talking for hours after, as is our usual habit. He never stops talking. Anyhoo, he was going on about a new /old woman, and I asked, recognising the name, (but not meaning anything by it) ‘Is this the one that left the baby in the car?’. Oops. She is. And he’d completely forgotten that we knew about that incident. ‘Fair enough’, I said, ‘sure we’re not going to say anything about it to her, everyone does stupid stuff, not gonna judge her for it, etc etc.’
What does S text me the next day? He had to tell her that we know about this incident, because he doesn’t want to have secrets from her. So she said she doesn’t want to meet us at all. Embarrassed, he says.
So. This summer, S bought his first home, in our town. He’s like ten minutes away. My Fiance helped him a little with putting in flooring, and offered plenty more help if needed.He moved in about three weeks ago, and I think the girlfriend and her baby have moved in too.
We’ve not been invited in at all – and I’m wondering is this friendship doomed? Fiance was going to ask S to be one of his groomsmen – they really do get on very well, and I would have said Fiance is one of S’s closest friends. It seems like he intends to leave us out of most of his life now. I don’t see that there’s anything we can or should do about it – I certainly have no wish to embarrass the girl – but I was interested in hearing everyone’s opinions on it anyway. Should we just wait it out?