Friend's husband….I don't want to invite him, do I have to?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

They are sill married, so yah you should. 

Post # 4
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Yes, he should be extended an invitation.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Pinkmoon:  +1. They are a social unit. You don’t invite one without the other. If that happened to me, not only would I skip the wedding but I’d pass on the friendship too. 

Post # 6
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Yeesh…

Tell her she can bring him, but he better not pull any sh!t…

Did you send her an invite with a +1 or no? 

Post # 7
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You’ve got really no choice but to invite him. If you don’t, then you put your friend in the really unfortunate situation of explaining why he’s not invited, and even if you explain that to him directly, you put her in the unfortunate situation of having to be around if he decides to brood on it.

Post # 8
Hostess
22135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’d invite him. I know it seems like a big deal right now, but on your actual wedding day, you will probably be too wrapped up in all of the joy of the day to even notice he’s there. 😉

Post # 9
Member
6507 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes. They are a social unit.

Post # 10
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Gemstone:  +1

Not sure how big your wedding will be, OP, but even at my smallish (60 people) wedding, I didn’t have a chance to talk to anyone I actually wanted to talk to. And those that I didn’t want to talk to (i.e. the bitchy wives of some of DH’s college friends)? A polite “Thank you so much for coming! It really means a lot to us that you would go so far out of your way!” did just fine. It will be very easy for you to politely avoid her husband save the canned response. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I thought you were going to say the guy threatened you, or kicks kittens for fun or something. They are married, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like him. How would you feel if someone didn’t like your husband and only invited you to their wedding? 

If you don’t invite him then you are putting your friend in a really difficult situation, and given that her marriage is already rocky I would think you’d want to help her out here.

Also, unless he is beating her up or something, saying you’re happy about a friend’s marriage ending is pretty nasty. 

Post # 12
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yep, you need to invite him.

Post # 14
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unfortunately you need to invite him.  I know you don’t like the guy, but remember that you don’t invite SOs for you, you invite SOs for your guests.  So try and think of it as a really nice favor to your friend.  Besides, how would you feel if your husband wasn’t invite to a wedding because the bride simply didn’t like him – it’s sting right?  You don’t want to do that to your friend.

Plus, it’s not like you’ll have to entertain him while he’s there.  As PP said, just a quick “how are you, thank you for coming” should be all the interaction you need to have with him.

 

Post # 15
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sadly, the only way that it is acceptable to break up a social unit is if one of them is a threat to others.

Post # 16
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

yes, they are married and she should be invited with her husband.

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