(Closed) Friend’s Mom’s Wedding Gift…

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Is there dinner/food being served? I think it is nice to try to cover the cost of your ticket. Like if you were going out for the night, how much would you and your FI pay for it? $100 would probably be good.

Post # 5
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with Jacqi.  I think you need to give enough to cover your dinner, so at the very least $100.  If a dinner is not going to be served, you could possibly get away with a little less, but I think $100 would be a nice gesture.

Post # 6
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I usually give cash at weddings, but I would be really uncomfortable with giving cash to someone older than me.  They may want cash, but they can not dictate that you give it to them.  By choosing not to register they are giving you no guidance as to what they would like to have for a physical gift, and that’s just the risk they take.  I would pick out something nice for their home and give it to them.  Especially since you are not close with them I probably wouldn’t even want to spend $100 but would feel bad giving less than that in cash.

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

@Ryansgirl:I think $75 is generally appropriate, but would give it in a gift card form as anything less than $100 in cash could be seen as a slight. Just remember that a gift is supposed to help with the start of a new couple’s life together, so regardless of whether the event costs the couple $1,000 or $10,000, the gift really shouldn’t be about the cost of the event. A couple that spends $10,000 on a wedding has $10,000 to spend, a couple that spends $1,000 most likely only has the $1,000 to spend and will probably need the money more than the other couple.

Post # 9
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

wow, I think give based on your financial situation! Since it is a casual event and they were upfront about not wanting home gifts you could give cash, but if you aren’t comfortable with it you could always give them a nice bottle of wine or something consumable.

I know the cover your plate discussion has been hashed out here, but my theory is I give based on the relationship, not the event. I would give my closer friends something awesome evenif they went to the courthouse and an aquaintance would get a smaller gift even if they spent $400 per plate, since people chose what to spend money on for their own reasons not to get gifts!

Post # 10
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you should give what you feel inclined to give and can afford.  Since they aren’t registered, you don’t necessarily have to give cash.  You could give them something for their home or something you think they’d appreciate (in whatever monetary value you are able).

Post # 11
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honestly I wouldnt give close to $100-75 esp since they said they only want money IMO thats really rude!

I would get them a gift card or something for the house

Post # 12
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would have to agree with the most replies here – 100$ it s good gift.

Post # 13
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was going to say just give them $100 too.

Post # 14
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

$100 seems like an awful lot to me! I’d give that to a close friend, but not to an acquaintance. It also just seems weird to give money to a friend’s mom–I’d have expected her to tell you no gift was needed. We just got married and most people gave us $50 or $100 (a few gave more, a few gave less). I know that gift giving amounts are very regional, but I wouldn’t give more than $50 in this situation, and honestly, I’d probably just give a bottle of wine/champagne, maybe with a pair of inexpensive glasses (etch an initial if you’re feeling creative) and a sweet note.

Post # 15
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Have they told you they want cash?  Most older people who are getting remarried do not register because there is nothing they need.  That doesn’t mean that they want cash.  How about giving them a $100 gift certificate to Macy’s or whatever large department store you have locally. 

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