Post # 1
Im still a newbie here, but feel very warmly welcomed!! My partner and I have been in a LDR for the entire course of our friendship and relationship (11 years), and finally the end of it all will be coming next year in Dec (2013)!! Yay! Im engaged!!!
This is a friend problem more than Family, but I dont know where I can write this post! Hope its ok! and Sorry its long!!!
Am I obliged to invite My school friends with whom I have had no contact with over the past 10 years? Of my closest school friends, I am only in touch with 1 of them because she actually bothers to reply back and keep in touch. Everyone else just moved on, which happens when you move out of the country and dont see them often. But what is my obligation to invite these people? My childhood best friend? who happens to be best friends with the one girl I am in touch with? How about the rest of my school friend crowd/clique I was with for years?
Have you been in that situation? what did you do?? I am desperate for what options I have, because a bitter part of me doesnt want to invite these people who have never bothered to keep in touch with me, but I can just invite one and not invite those connected through her either 🙁
Post # 3
To be perfectly honest, I think it’s fine to invite the ones you kept in touch with but not the others. I’m in a similar situation, I’ve lost touch with heaps of people from primary and high school that I was once close with.
If you don’t have enough in common that you (and them) can’t keep in touch over ten years, then they’re obviously not a big enough part of your life to invite them to your wedding. Especially when you keep in mind that you would have to pay for their reception meals and drinks (possibly 100/head for people you and your partner don’t know??).
Looking at it from another perspective, my FI was invited to a high school friend’s wedding a year or so ago. He had had no contact with this guy since they graduated and the whole wedding just felt weird for us – he only knew a few people there, and the conversation with the groom (the guy who invited him) just felt stilted and awkward. Think about how your old friends will feel at the wedding and how you (and your other guests) will interact with them and whether they will actually enjoy themselves.
Post # 4
@LadyElva: thank you so much! I didnt think of it from their point of view, and it is a good point too!! Its really awkward going back home for my wedding and seeing all the old friends with whom u havnt spoken to in ages and feel obliged to invite… I have to grow some thick skin and make some tough decisions!!
Thank you again!!!
Post # 5
Invite whoever you want to invite. Don’t feel obliged to invite a bunch of folks you no longer know. You are paying for your own wedding and it’s very expensive as it is!
Post # 6
I agree – if there’s been no contact for many years, then it’s just awkward.
There’s a guy I went to school with – back in the day we were pretty good friends (he was the girls guy in our group). He moved away to study, but would come home to see family at xmas, he came home for some of our 21st bdays – we went on a road trip to his town for his 21st bday… but gradually over time we’ve drifted apart. We’re still technically FB friends but rarely speak, he doesn’t even communicate when he comes home to see his family. I don’t remember the last conversation we had – text/FB/or face-to-face.
I’m not too distraught – he’s made some dodgy choices & that’s his problem. (At a friend’s wedding a few yrs ago, he whined to me about how jealous he was of the couple because his girlfriend was married & refused to leave her husband for him. Yeah). I’ve moved on with my life & he’s not part of it. I have no plans to invite him but I know he’s going to sook about it when he realises he’s not invited. Oh well!
Post # 7
My venue can seat 100 people max so I’ve the best excuse to not invite certain people lol.