friends who are anti-marriage/anti-wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Some people are just cynical, or think it’s trendy to act cynical. Some people hate the institution of marriage for whatever reason, but find weddings to be an easier target than marriage as a whole.

In any case, I think you would be absolutely in the right to ask your friend to step down. Are you sure she isn’t behaving that way to provoke you to nix her as a bridesmaid? Sounds like you would both be happier that way. I’m not saying your friendship needs to suffer, but she’s being kind of an asshole, and you don’t owe it to her to let her spoil your wedding. If I had friends who vocally dislike weddings or marriage, I wouldn’t invite them. I don’t need to know that someone next to me on our wedding day is thinking nasty thoughts about how stupid we are to get married. 

Post # 4
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am that friend, I hate weddings, and the only reason I’ve agreed to get married was because my FI and I are paying for it in full, and can do it how we want without any input from others. 

HOWEVER! I would never speak that way to a friend of mine getting married, especially after agreeing to being a bridesmaid. I was recently a MOH and I did all the stuff I personally hate, and didn’t complain once. I’m a better friend than to be negative all over her excitement, your friend should be too. That’s what being a grown up is about.

Post # 5
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am a faker. FI only really knows how I despise weddings. If I went to an awesome wedding, I would love it! Unfortunately, I’ve been to so many that are etiquette breach after etiquette breach that I despise them. 3 hour gap. Boom. Dollar Dance. Crash. Garter toss (OK not so much an etiquette breach, but I just don’t like it). Those carbon copy weddings are so boring, take up my whole day, and I just don’t like them. Vent over. That said, I don’t ever voice my disdain for weddings, except to FI at times. 


I have a couple who are anti-marriage. They attend weddings still. Actually the guy is against marriage because of the legalization/government involvement. They are vocal about it, but I’m vocal about wanting to get married so fair is fair. I also have various friends who don’t want to get married. I’ve fluctuated in my life about marriage, so I don’t mind hearing their opinion. They never, however, say I shouldn’t get married or question my engagement/future marriage. They are excited and happy for me. To me that’s the difference that would say if it would bothe rme or not.


Post # 6
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Yeah, I’d definitely say ask your bridesmaid to step down if she hates it so much. You don’t need so much negativity about a perfectly acceptable celebration occasion. Who f-ing cares what the divorce rate is, tell her to voice her opinions to everyone she sees wearing a wedding ring instead of you. (I personally see the divorce rate as being proof that gender equality is happening, and unhappy spouses are no longer staying together because they literally have to in order to be socially accpted) And how much other people spend on their own weddings is absolutely none of her business either. She is being an asshole, as someone else said above.

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