Post # 1
I think the response to this post is pretty obvious, but in general, how do you handle it when you have a good friend who tells a lot of little white lies?
I have a friend I’ve known for about 6 years and despite living in separate cities we’ve kept in touch and visit frequently. She is a great friend in almost every way, but I keep catching her in these little white lies that I can’t quite 100% prove, but I KNOW she’s lying.
For example, we still aren’t friends on Facebook because she told me her username was two separate things, both produced no results in a search. Maybe she has her privacy settings so people can’t find her, but she never sent ME a request after saying she would.
Also, she just recently left her job to work for her old boss who also left the company. Even though she had just flown out to meet with him, she told me she still ‘didn’t know’ where he ended up because he wasn’t sharing that info yet. I can’t prove it, but I KNOW that wasn’t true because a week later she called me from her new office working for him!
She didn’t come to my wedding (I went to hers) because she said she was invited to 4 other weddings on the same day but she had already promised her husband they would go to some college reunion. Strange, because I sent a STD and there was no mention of this.. it just FELT like a lie.
There are a lot of other things like this. I can’t prove any of them, so I don’t feel comfortable confronting her about it. I feel like her lies create distance between us because she never lets me in like a real friend.
Post # 3
how to handle? distance yourself. why invest your time & honesty in someone who can’t return the same respect? why lie over something small & stupid? sounds like they have something to hide or are insecure about …
i say maintain healthy boundaries, if that’s what you want, but don’t invest more than what you are getting out of the friendship in return.
Post # 4
You said in the begining “good friend” but in my mind, a good friend doesn’t do those things. I have several people I would love to be better friends with, but they don’t make the effort to call, get together, or be a good friend. I try to look at it as God is helping me pick my friends.
The frustrating thing is that on here, it is so supportive and I wish I could find friends like on here in “real life.”
Post # 5
I agree with distancing yourself. I had a friend who used to kind of be like that, but more lie by omission. I felt like I was giving a lot to our relationship and spilling my heart out to her and she gave me nothing back. I got sick of it and decided that’s not fair to me, and it’s not a healthy friendship. If she contacts me I’m polite and respond, but we’re not bff anymore.
Post # 6
friends who lie arent friends…
Post # 7
Yeah I have to agree with the other ladies on this one. A friend who lies to you isn’t really someone you want intimately involved in your life! Distancing yourself is probably a good idea.
Post # 8
My “Best Friend” and Maid/Matron of Honor is a liar and always late after the wedding i don’t think we will talk much… Its just to much stress to worry about if shes telling the truth or actually being honest it stinks but sometimes you just have to let go of the negative things in your life!
Post # 9
I had a “friend” who lied constantly about everything. It got to the point where my favorite thing to do would be calling her out on all of them just to see her reaction. It was funny to listen to her sputter and try to cover up those lies with more lies. It’s sad to say this, but I used her more as companionship and entertainment just so I wouldn’t be lonely and bored. She has now become a “joke” between me and my true pals.
My favorite lie of hers was from last year, right before Christmas. Her excuse for not buying her son any presents was because she got carjacked from her front yard by 2 black guys. She had her rent money in her hands, counting it to herself outside, because she was waiting on the landlord to come pick it up. These guys pulled up, ran and shoved her into the car, went inside her trailer and snatched her son up, and they drove away. She said she was assaulted and that they robbed her of all her money, ATM card, ID, etc. Said there was a high-speed chase involving a bunch of squad cars and that the guys ran and weren’t found.
My first reaction was WTF? OMG, I hope you & your son are ok. Then I got suspicious, started calling the police and news stations….nobody heard anything remotely like that. Checked the newspapers every day after that, but no mention of it. Hmmmmmmmmm. If you knew this girl you woud understand my skepticism.
Anyway, long story short is that I no longer deal with her. Thank God. Way too much drama for me, lol.