(Closed) Friends with different people

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

To me a friend is someone who can respect my beliefs while I respect theirs. I do find that most of my friends have similiar beliefs (birds of a feather…) but there are a few that are drasticially different. For those few we can agree to disagree in a sense. Yes hearty discussion and often disagreement is to be expected but these disagreements never become intimidating or disrespectful.

If you feel frustrated by what you are seeing on FB just don’t follow postings by those specific people. It is their right to voice their opinions but if it bothers you there is no need to listen….they probably do the same to you. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This issue comes up for me every time a presidential election rolls around. I make a point not to discuss sensitive topics like that with anyone but my closest friends, and I certainly don’t put it on Facebook. I find it distressing that some people can be so hard line about it, like if you don’t share their exact views then you must be a horrible person. Hugs, @starrynight

Post # 6
Hostess
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@starrynight:  Um, no. That is ridiculous. But then again maybe those people find that to be a “deal breaker” for their friends? I can’t say I agree or understand but hey some people are just that specific.

And no you should never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, especially when it is under attack. This is especially true when you are in a discussion with someone you consider to be a friend. Healthy discussion is great but intimidation is never an appropriate tool to win your argument.

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Politically, my friends tend to range from moderate conservative to very liberal. (Right now I have a friend who is working for the Obama campaign and another friend who is working for the Romney campaign – they are also both friends.) My friends also belong to all different faiths: muslims to christians to atheists. I’ve generally adopted the stance of “If you have nothing nice to say…” but sometimes I will get into polite debates if I know that the other person enjoys that sort of thing and won’t take it personally. I think knowledge is power and I enjoy learning about different perspectives.

I’m really sorry your friends are so aggressive about their viewpoints. While I don’t see anything wrong with people posting their opinions, I do find a problem where it’s something that’s overbroad, based out of hate, and not grounded by facts. You should not have to be afraid of saying what you think. Maybe you need more open-minded friends?

Post # 8
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t mind being friends with people who have radically different views, as long as we can both agree to disagree and the issue at hand isn’t so ingrained into our lives that it would be brought up all the time. With some friends, I just avoid talking about hot button topics that I know will cause a fight between us. So there is a limit, because you can’t be 100% open and honest, but I think a good friendship is very much possible.

I’m not religious at all but made friends with a staunch Christian. He loaned me a Christian novel about some dragon that was defeated by being a good christian warrior or something lol. I didn’t really go for the religious undertones but it was a good read and I didn’t take it as meaning he was trying to convert me or anything. That’s just who he is.

People need to be less judgemental and sensitive and more understanding of eachother, IMO. If people unfriend you because of your religious views then they’re not people you need to waste energy on, anyways.

Post # 9
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@starrynight:  Yes I am friends with ppl of different religions, sex prefrences, and of different political parties.

Post # 10
Member
4372 posts
Honey bee

I am a liberal atheist and I have friends who are conservative, Christian, and conservative Christian. We debate in good fun but don’t get too into it. We also respect each other’s views and never let our discussions get too far. We agree to disagree.

I think it’s unfortunate your friend chose to defriend you over this, especially when you are not “in your face” about your views. Her loss.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Meh, depends. I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with someone becasue of their beliefs. I personally don’t want to be friends with homophobes. And I know that conservative christians don’t want to be my friend- I’m much too abrasive and pervy for their tastes. So really it’s a big fat MEH- don’t like what I think? Don’t like me- OH WELL.

 

And yes, I will and have not been someones friend becasue of their beliefs.

Post # 14
Member
4372 posts
Honey bee

@starrynight:  I kind of understand what vmec is saying though. If one of my friends didn’t like black people because they are black, then they’re racist. I kind of don’t want to be friends with racist people, even if it’s a personal belief.

Post # 15
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve noticed that, naturally, most of my more conservative friends have faded from my life. It’s not like I run around talking about abortion rights, but they flocked to those similar to them and i flocked to those similar to me.  My FI has more conservative friends than I do.

I only unfriend people who will NOT SHUT UP about how they went on a 5k walk to support unborn children and how they’re going to pray for their gay friends.  I unfriend them because I find those statuses offensive and their political and social beliefs have become dominant features of their personalities.

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