(Closed) Friends with Ex

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@Cem0930: I can see why you would be uncomfortable, because he left you for her, buuuuut I would go out with them if I were you. They dated for two weeks 8 years ago, so it doesn’t sound like anything serious.

If you don’t want to go that’s fine, but unless she does something shady I wouldn’t recommend you expecting him to cut ties. Be happy and go with him, he is being a good FH by showing off his FW.

Post # 4
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Cem0930: Part of me is tempted to say to just let it go because it was a 2-week fling, but I get that you’re upset because he left you for her, so it’s a sore spot. If you feel uncomfortable with it, I think you should be honest with him and tell him if you don’t want him hanging out with her. If I were him, I would totally understand. Just be honest about how you feel.

Post # 5
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally understand why that would make you uncomfortable.  Has he been friends with this woman for the past 8 years?  If they realized after two weeks that they would only work as friends and have been friends ever since (and you’ve known that), then I’d probably explain why I didn’t love the idea but go with them… maybe you’ll like her (a stretch, I know).

If they’ve barely spoken over the last 8 years but she’s around and they’re meeting up, I’d give a big hellllllllllllllll no to that!

Honestly I think every relationship has its own boundaries, but if you’re uncomfortable with this woman (and I think legitimately, given your FI’s past with her), he should respect that…   In any event I don’t think you’re overreacting… seems very understandable to me why this person in particular isn’t your favourite friend of his.

JMO… I hope things work out for you however you decide to deal with it!

Post # 7
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

i think it is completely inapproriate for him to want to hang out with a girl he had a 2 week fling with (at the expense of YOUR heart) 8 years ago.  it’s pointless.  what the fuck could he possibly want to say/do with her?  do they have a big past together as good friends or something?

i have no problem with the whole “friends withe exes”.   i see my husband’s ex girlfriend at mutual friends’ parties sometimes and she’s on my facebook. and my ex from my early 20s is on my facebook and my husband and i have run into him a couple times out drinking and they were cool with each other.  but this is totally different.  he wants to meet up with a fling that broke your heart 8 years ago.  that’s just shitty if you ask me.

you’re not overreacting.

Post # 9
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sounds pretty sketchy, I’m glad you talked to him and he realized the circumstance it left you in!

Post # 10
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh yeah. If this was my boyfriend, I’d let him see her, but he’d better be taking me along to “meet” her! REALLY glad he came to his senses!

Post # 11
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

so happy to hear you guys talked about it and he was understanding!  With your response about the “status” of their friendship, I was definitely on the “hell no” side of the fence. 

Post # 13
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@nontraditionalmiami: Agreed!

So OP, you didn’t go out to meet her? I’d be less than thrilled…

Post # 14
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My BIG and only question is: WHY would he want to meet up with her? To talk about old times? As “just friends”?

Some things should be left where they belong. In the past. I’m super glad, however, that he is taking your feelings into account.

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