Post # 1
Hi – I’m having some issues deciding on wedding party. I’ve always said that I would just have a maid of honour, my sister, and no bridesmaids, and my fiance is fine with it. He’s got a friend that is clearly closer to him than anyone else and no one would expect anyone else to be his best man. So, one and one. But now things are complicated – we’ve asked a dear mutual friend of ours to be our MC (because we both love her and she’s pee-your-pants funny), and I think a couple of my other friends are annoyed/hurt that i haven’t asked them to be bridesmaids or really “in” the wedding. If i wanted to add a few, it wouldn’t actually be that big of a deal – my fiance has 2+ close friends he could ask to be groomsmen and they would definitely accept, but wouldn’t be hurt if they weren’t asked. The thing is, if I were to ask my girls to be bridesmaids, I think the friend who we’ve asked to be MC would then be hurt that she’s not involved in that way. UGH, I’m annoying myself just re-reading this – the funny part is I don’t even have that many friends! And I’m worried that a wrong decision now could make me even less popular. This is complicated even further by the fact that one of the girls who i’m considering asking to a bridesmaid, more than likely, won’t even be able to come to the wedding. Its a bit of a “thought that counts” type situation I guess.
Anyway – If you aren’t too confused by my ramblings…what would you do??
Post # 3
@ScarletBegonia:Wow, that sounds like a mess! lol Well I understand where you are coming from. I chose my two oldest friends instead of the ones I see more now and it was a tough choice! If you feel that you will feel better asking them then I would go for it! Whatever make you less stressed out! I dont think the MC will be offended at all. Besides you asked her to be involved first and she is still part or your big day!
Post # 4
Could you ask them to be readers? Or some other role in the wedding that’s not part of the wedding party?
Post # 5
Honestly, its something your friends will get over. I was slightly hurt when I wasn’t asked to be in my close friend’s wedding this past summer, but I sucked it up and dealt with it. I think your friends should understand that you wanted your sister. It’s not like you picked 6 friends and they weren’t included. It sounds like you are in a tough situation – I’d just stand your ground. Maybe explain to them that you wanted to keep your wedding party small and just include a maid of honor and a best man. I think girls might be hurt initially, but then grateful they can just attend the wedding as a guest.
Post # 6
Have you talked to them about the fact that you don’t want to have bridesmaids? If you haven’t, then there is a possibility that they’re sitting around wondering when you’re going to chose them and wishing you would just hurry up and ask.
I think that the best way to handle this is to talk to your friends, let them know that you only ever wanted to have one attendant. Let them know you love them and that you would love to have them involved in some other way, but that when you envision your wedding, you don’t see anybody up there but your sister.
I’m sure they’ll understand.
Post # 7
You should have your wedding party the way YOU want it. Do NOT ask someone because you think they’ll be hurt if you don’t. If they’re a good enough friend, they will understand and won’t get upset. If they do get mad, they probably aren’t that great of a friend to begin with.
Post # 8
I say stick to your guns. You made your choices for a reason. If you let your friends know that you don’t plan on anymore attendants, they’ll definitely get over it- they’ll still be at the wedding having a good time! Maybe you could include them in some other way, as a helper, or (if you trust their judgement) leaning on different people for different opinions on things- invites, flowers, etc- so they can feel involved.
Post # 9
Yes, stick to your guns. I had one MOH and one BM and that was it. It was blissful and easy. My other friends didn’t care at all (and were probably relieved), but my aunt did make comments that I should have made my cousins bridesmaids (all of my cousins are girls). I ignored her and I am so happy I did. It’s your day, you go with your heart!