- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Hi there Bees. I didn’t know where else to turn, so I’m turning to you for some advice and encouragement.
One of my BMs has yet to order her dress. She’s had since the 5th to do so, and has assured me she would, but alas, she has not. Here’s the scoop:
My fiance & I got engaged Christmas Day. Between Christmas and NYE, I called all my friends/family and shared the news. Upon sharing this with her, she congratulated me and then proceeded to gush that she thought her bf would ask her soon too. Ok, no biggie. I’m used to her trying to one up me and make things about her. Whatev. So Her bf finally does propose day after St. Patrick’s day. Good for them. Right on. However, she has already agreed to be one of my BMs. I don’t think anything of it. They’re getting married next April/May. Fast forward to the last month or two. I’m fretting over the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and want to make sure my girls look great. my Maid/Matron of Honor is gonna be 8 mos preggo by wedding time, and I wanted them all to match, so this is no small task. Every cute style I found only came in gross colors, and every pretty color i found, didn’t have a suitable style to match. FINALLY, I find the dress. 3 of my 4 girls order within a week to 10 days. All except this final Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I know that she has a trip to PA coming up (she’s in CA) to plan her wedding, and a week before she leaves, I beg her to order her dress first. I’m nervous she’ll forget, and even more nervous she’ll put all her money down on her wedding and not have anything left to order her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. Thing is, we waited til the last moments to order because of the preggo Maid/Matron of Honor so that we’d have the best idea of her size as she’s growing. Well….. placing the order now, for it to come in in 10-12 weeks puts the dresses coming in at the end of Sept. My wedding is Oct. 20! So, I beg her to order, she says she will when she gets back. Uh, cutting it a little close. So I impress the importance on her again. She says “Oh, I didn’t realize. I’ll order Friday when i go shopping for my wedding dress, cause I don’t even have my measurements.” Ok. Still nervous, but I can live with that.
Friday comes. She posts to fb that she got her gown. Great! I wanna see pics! oh, btw, don’t forget your Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. yay for you and your gown! (Trying to be supportive and as minimally annoying as possible, but I’m paranoid.) She replies, “I’ll be ordering today or Monday.” Huh? Monday? O-K. I don’t like it, but hardly time to panic yet. Monday it is.
As you can see it’s Tues. I called the dress shop cause I had to order my cousin’s dress. She decided she wanted to wear the same thing as my BMs since she wasn’t finding anything else, just in a different color. I call to order, and Bridesmaid or Best Man still hasn’t ordered and it’s closing time. Wonderful. Now here I am in a state of limbo and awkward. I tell the dress shop guy to place the dress orders on Thurs wheather she orders or not, cause they HAVE to get in before October so everyone can get alterations and such. We’re already cutting it close.
So now I’m faced with a dilemma. What do I do if she doesn’t order by Thurs? I’m done begging. I understand she’s planning her wedding, but she’s had plenty of time, and it seriously takes 10 min to call. The deposit to order the dress is $70-80 so it’s not like she had to come up with $300 or anything. I even shopped around to find the cheapest shop to order from and saved them $50 on the dress! I’m ready to just drop her entirely but don’t want to deal with the confrontation.
Now for the million dollar question, do I let her rush order the dress? (The point of ordering together was to make sure they were cut from the same dye lot/bot of fabric.) Or do I tell her not to worry about my little ole wedding and focus on her own? Part of me feels like I’m rushing her but part of me thinks if I mean anything to her as a friend, she would’ve ordered the dress by now especially knowing how stressed I’ve been over it. She did go to a couple shops and try on stuff for me twice. But my Maid/Matron of Honor even had a hard time getting a video montage from her she was making for my shower. Instead of doing it and shipping it in a timely manner, she would post on fb how she just saw such-and-such movie for a second time. I just don’t know what to think anymore.
Please help Hive!