Friendship Rant!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8850 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I just don’t understand why on earth you would ration +1s for a housewarming party?!?  It’s not like it’s a $100 a head wedding reception, unless your housewarming parties are way different than all the others I’ve been to.  If she doesn’t know a single one of your friends OR your SO… you really think it’s cool to make her come alone to a party full of strangers?  o_O

Post # 4
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015



Post # 5
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can see why you’re upset, it feels like a double standard. I’m glad you’re not going to say anything because it isn’t that big of a deal but still does suck a bit. Next time she invites you somewhere ask if you can bring your SO, if she says its just girls then tell her last time it was supposed to be but guys were there and you felt uncomfortable.  She probably doesn’t realize this upset you so don’t bring it up now but wait until she invites you to something.  If she says you can’t bring him then politly decline and hang out with her another day, just don’t let this get in the way of your friendship, especially if this the only issue.

Post # 7
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@letsbeefriends:  You didn’t ask to bring someone, she did. Why are you upset at her for doing something you didn’t do? You had every opportunity to do the same, but chose not to. Chances are, if you had asked, she would have said “No problem.”

Having personal experience being with a group of people you didn’t know, I would think you would have some empathy for her situation.


Post # 9
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@letsbeefriends:  this is a classic case of the squeaky wheel getting the oil. You didn’t want to go alone to her parties but didn’t make it known and suffered for it. She asked to bring someone so she didn’t suffer the same fate. I don’t think it’s terribly fair to be angry at her for asking for something totally normal. In the future you know you are totally welcome to ask if you can bring someone to her gatherings. 

Post # 10
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Why don’t you just ask to bring a plus one next time if you want to take your FI with you? If you are uncomfortable going alone I don’t know why you haven’t done that before. She’s not being at all unreasonable. 


If you had asked to bring your FI to her get togethers and she had said no, but then expected to be able to bring a random +1 to your house warming, then I could see why you’d be mad. As it is though, I think it’s silly for you to be mad at her for not extending you a +1, especially when you did the same thing to her. She asked to bring a guest, you did not. She probably never even knew you’d like to bring him.



Post # 11
3785 posts
Honey bee

@letsbeefriends:  i understand what you are saying but look at it this way. You don’t ask, you don’t get. You never asked if you could bring someone along, so you were never given the opportunity.  Because you never made a big deal about it she probably just asumed you were happy to fly solo. Its not her fault she has bothered to ask. Next time, if you don’t want to go solo just tell your friend.

Post # 12
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@letsbeefriends:  so why don’t you introduce them? I’m assuming she’s not a mind reader – she might not have known you wanted to bring SO. 

I find it more odd that your good friend and your SO haven’t met in three years. Maybe she assumes you aren’t serious about your SO since you havent introduced him / brought him around? If you aren’t serious, why should she extend an invitation? Just a hypothetical to think about.

Discuss your thoughts and feelings – I’m sure she’d be happy to include your SO if it makes you happy!

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