Post # 1
I’ve been really surprised at how marriage has affected my friendships (mostly my single friends). I didn’t expect my relationship with them to change but it has. I have soul searched and know that I have not done anything different, but (after some conversations) realized their view of me has changed (ie: Darling Husband is now a priority, you probably want to do something with him, them wanting to give me space, etc). Even though I’ve told them their friendship is important and I still need them in my life, a couple of my formerly close single friends have drastically backed off since I got married 1 1/2 years ago. It really sucks, but I’ve come to accept it. Mostly because, even after all the taking to them about it, I’m tired of being the one pursuing the friendship. I figure it can’t be one sided and if they are having issues with me being married, it’s not anything I can ‘change’ about myself.
In a nutshell, I feel rejected because I’m married…… just wondering if anyone is going through anything similar with single friends.
Post # 3
I feel different. I don’t feel as free or in control- I used to be very spontaneous. My friends live across the country so if I want to see them… it is a big planning ordeal, it is expensive, and it has to involve Darling Husband (not that that is a bad thing.) It has definitely changed for me. I think maintaining relationships is one of the hardest things, though so important and valued. I am sorry you are feeling like they have backed away. I have moved so much I am used to distance from friends. I don’t understand why your friends would be standoffish to you now?
Post # 4
For me, no I don’t think they treat me different. After 2 years I think time has changed things more than the marriage. I still have my close group of girls and we still do girl weekends. I’ve never been excluded because I’m married and I’ve not felt free to do what I want. I’m sorry you’ve had the opposite experience 🙁
Post # 5
I think things changed with friends after anyone got into any new relationship, period. That’s just the way it goes. For me, things didn’t change at all after the actual wedding. All of my girlfriends are married or in serious relationships, so they understand things change as far as how much time you spend with someone when you’re single as opposed to being in a relationship. Age might play into it too if you’re younger & most of your friends are single.
Now we seem to hang out alot more with our married friends/couples. But then again, that’s most of them. I know it’s hard growing apart, but it’s just what happens when people are in different stages of life. We tend to want to be around people we can relate to more, as selfish as that may sound.
Also, perhaps your friends are alittle jealous because you have something very special that they don’t? Funny enough, I get this more from our single male friends when they’re the only guys at our dinner parties w/o a wife or girlfriend/fiance.
Post # 5
I was an older bride so my friendships have not changed much, I still have my work happy hour friends and a lot of my other friends were already married with kids