Post # 1
Ok Bees! I did it. It was super scary, but as time passes I feel more at ease with the decision. So here it goes…
We were planning a sizable wedding at a barn location in the smokey mountains of NC. It was absolutely gorgeous and well, we both fell in love with it. My parents gave us a nice $ figure to use for the wedding and so I set off (with their assistance) to secure venues. This was back in early 2013. March comes around and my FI starts having doubts. That totally destroyed me. I wasn’t sure where it was coming from since we were super close. We took some time to work it out over the summer of 2013. So, we decided to push the wedding back. We do not want to rush such a crucial decision. Come to find out, it was my FI anxieties that got in the way of him feeling comfortable. But through lots of communication and understanding his needs, we have never been happier and more close.
So we started to plan the wedding for 2014 (which always felt like a better year to me anyways, don’t ask). But my parents were not giving us the money they had originally stated. I find this odd bc they like my FI and said they support us. But it is their money, so I did not even push it. My sister then got engaged this holiday season and my parents are paying for her entire wedding in September 2014. So here we are are trying to pay for a wedding on our own while my sister gets anything she would like. We are stuck with the vendors we booked…thinking we had that type of money to spend…but now we don’t. The stress of the tight budget, making everyone happy and forgetting the true meaning of the day made me feel alone…although my FI was very supportive no matter what we do.
So, I decided three nights ago, not to move forward with our current plans and have an intimidate wedding….with just immediate family. I am scared to death what my family and friends will think. I care so much about other peoples opinions that while I am happy that I do not have to pay 10K for 5 hours and coordinate/host a party for 75 guests….I feel bad that I won’t be able to share the day with them. But truth be told, I think I would be stressed about how everyone else is doing on my wedding day…and I probably wouldn’t enjoy it. I think a big event is just not my thing. I hate being the center attention, having a lot of fluff and I am an introvert at heart.
So there it is. I am in the process of contacting everyone on the guest list to give them the update. And I won’t lie, I do tear up…but I think it is more about the fact that I feel my parents hurt me in this process than it is about not having a big wedding. If my parents actually paid for this wedding, than I think I would have been less stressed. But that is not the way it ended up. So this was the best option for us.
Thanks for listening Bees.
Post # 3
Im sorry! I sent this without asking Bees for some encourgaing stories from people who went from a Big wedding to a smaller more intimate wedding..maybe even an elopement?!
I would love to hear your stories…it would probably help me through this transition. Thank you!!! 🙂
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Post # 5