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From sister to FBIL's birthday!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    lkbphmd    August 7, 2010   MN (ceremony in Omaha, NE)

    So awhile back I posted we had picked my sister's birthday to be married.  Long story short, both of my sisters voiced displeasure and to avoid a continuing fiasco, we changed the date.

    So jump forward a few weeks- FI is talking to one of his brothers about the wedding.  FBIL says you picked a good date, its my birthday.  FI was like oh no, here we go again, but FBIL was quick to say it's not about me, it's about the two of you.  No big deal.  (Don't blame FI for not knowing, his brothers are 15-20 yrs older than him)  Since I was going to do a cake for sister, I feel I should do the same for FBIL.  I'm still a little hurt by my sister's reactions, and our conversations are still strained, but I think things will smooth out with time.

    Help me make the right decision....if I do the cake for FBIL, should I say something to my family before hand or should I just plan and let it play out.  I don't want to come across as stirring up trouble and can't decide which is better.

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    stlginkgo    3/20/10  

    Ask your FBIL what he would like. Its seems as though he is being very mature about it, he realizes that it is a special day for the two of you. If anything this will give you a good reason never to forget his bday!

     
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    Busy
    Beekeeper
    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    Good for him! The cake is a nice idea. At my step-sister's wedding (I think I told you this last time! ;) it was my brother's birthday, so the DJ stopped everything and led us all in singing happy birthday to him. ;) It was cute. A special birthday cake is also nice.

     
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    Sugar bee
    GaBGal    September 25, 2010  

    Guys are just way different than girls.

     
    5.
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    Busy bee
    vttp926      

    definitely ask fbil what he would like because he may not even want any attention on him. when one of my uncles got married a couple years back it was on my cousin's birthday. we didn't do a cake but when the couple was greeting the tables, all the cousins and uncles burst out into the happy birthday song to be captured on the wedding video. it definitely surprised my cousin that day.

     
    6.
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    Sugar bee
    Tanya123      

    What is your concern regarding your family and the FBIL cake thing?  It sounds like you're fearing ticking them off or something.  Maybe I'm missing it.

    But if you think a cake would be something he'd like, then I think you should go for it.  I'm not sure if I'd come right out and ask him.  (I might ruin the fun of the moment.)  Hopefully, you can figure out if he's good natured about that sort of thing.  Or if he's deathly afraid of having any spotlight.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I'd ask him if he minded (not wanted, he might feel like a jerk for WANTING attention but if you say minded, it'll make him feel like you really want to do it) if you got him a cake or something. Give him the option- he might not want the attention at all!

     
    8.
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    Blushing bee
    mnmgirl08    09/18/10   Pittsburgh

    My cousin got married on my birthday this summer.  He and his bride called me out to the dance floor and everyone sang happy birthday to me and then the three of us danced together.  It was great and I was so touched that they took time out of their day to celebrate my birthday with me.  The way I looked at it was: I get a birthday every year, they get married once.  And now I'll never forget their wedding anniversary :)

    Also-the bride (my cousin was the groom) texted me the morning of the wedding to wish me a happy birthday.  It was seriously the sweetest thing ever to do, in my opinion.

     
    9.
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    Worker bee
    peoniespearls    July 17, 2009   PA

    I am having this same dilemma except with my FSIL. I think it was a nice thought that mnmgirl08's cousins called her out on her birthday/their wedding. No excuses on forgetting the anniversary.

     

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