Post # 1
I am feeling really frustrated and need to vent a little and don’t have anyone around that I can talk to.
i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, the past 9 months long distance (I am in California and he is in London). I had thought we were on the same page about getting married, but now I am not so sure. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but that he needs to be absolutely sure about us getting married before coming over to visit me. He was supposed to have come this past weekend, but pushed back his trip to November, but can’t guarantee that he won’t push back the trip again.
I love him and know he is the man I want to spend the rest off my life with, but I don’t want to be waiting and then just get my heart broken. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he swears he doesn’t and that he loves me, but just wants everything sorted out in his head. It is so hard to read him over the phone and Skype (he is very reserved ).
Post # 3
I think that you either have to wait for him to be sure- he knows how you feel, you know how he feels. Or put the pressure on..
My advice is to wait. But not in the “waiting” sense. Go about your life as normal! Don’t let on that you are wanting to get married NOW, just be yourself. Do exciting things, go places. He will see that you love and respect him enough not to nag him about his choice.
Worked for me at least 😛
Post # 4
To me, visiting you has nothing to do with marriage. You’ve been together 3 years and now he can’t visit because he’s not sure he wants to get married? That sounds off to me.
Post # 5
I can only say what happened to me.
I had a long distance relationship. I was in Florida and he was in England. Eventhough he was the first one that brought marriage up and sort of proposed, every time I would say something about getting married, he would get uncomfortable or change the subject. When I’d question him, he say he needed time, wanted to think, etc.
We broke up soon after. He didn’t really care as much as I thought he did. In fact, there was another woman.
That’s not to say that this is what’s happening with you, but if he really loved you…what’s the deal? I dunno.
Post # 6
regardless of what is going on with him the best thing you can do is back off and focus on you! Let him have some time and space and there is a good chance he will realize how great you are and start moving forward.
Post # 7
@elle_z: I have told him that I am expecting a proposal during his visit.
Post # 8
@CaliGirlinLondon: I would take off the pressure of a proposal and see if he’s willing to visit after that. If he comes to see you then you know it’s just a simple case of cold feet. If he still continues to push the date back you will know something more is troubling him.