Post # 1
So quick background here. Married just shy of 7 months, I’m 30, DH is 32. I went of BC about two weeks ago and we’re not actively TTC, but giving my body a chance to figure itself out. I’ve been on BC for seven years now and am just not sure what my body is going to do now that I’m off it. We have a plan to NTNP from October but this month is killing me. My DH is afraid to do anything with me because he’s afraid of knocking me up before we were ready to try actively. He starts things and then pulls back from me. The other night he turned his back to me and went to sleep after we fooled around. Why is it all of a sudden he feels like I’m a glass vase that can shatter with the slightest touch? I think he’s afraid of getting me pregnant before we were ready to try. Okay, now that this is written out I see that it’s ridiculous and to be honest it’s just two more weeks until the month ends and we can stop being weird about this.
I guess I just want to know that someone else has gone through this. Has your DH/FI/SO acted weird when you went off BC?
In other news, I’m really excited for the possibility of POAS in the next couple of months. 🙂
Post # 3
@debinoxford: Men can be really strange about “female” issues. Some guys are just completely clueless about the female reproductive system and that freaks them out a little bit. My FI knows nothing about anything in this department. If I told him every month I bleed out my butt and need 3 lbs. of chocolate and cupcakes to make it stop he’d probably believe me. Ok, maybe not, but you get my point.
Last year my period was doing whacky things (and I have my tubes tied, so I was not pregnant or worried about it), it was 5 weeks late. But he was getting very anxious. He thought maybe I was seriously ill or something. He decided that there was no way this could be normal. He asked me every day if I got it yet. And he won’t even say period. He says “When you’re in your days”. It’s kind of adorable. “Do you need a back rub? I know when you’re in your days your back hurts a lot.”
Post # 4
Are you opposed to using condoms till you are ready to really start trying? DH and I used condoms anyway when I was on BC, we were really not wanting a kid, but once I went off BC so I could figure out how my body reacted to being off of it we used condoms.
Post # 5
@Hippos: I have thought about it. I’m not opposed to it, but my DH is. He has never used them. I might bring that up to him when we talk later tonight.
Thanks for the replies ladies. I appreciate it and knowing that him being weird is just a normal thing. Thing is, when I was on BC, he would always ask if I was preggo if I wasn’t feeling well or anything out of the ordinary. Now I guess that the answer could be a yes, he is freaking out. Maybe he would feel better about being intimate if he still had some level of protection for a bit. Will talk to him and see what he reckons.
Post # 6
Well its never too late to start using them! LoL there are so many options out there that if one brand doesn’t work then try another (they really are different in some ways). Once my DH and I found the brand that worked for us it really wasn’t that big of an inconvience nor did it feel terribly different for either of us.
Post # 7
i went off the pill in july, we have been using condoms because we are waiting until our wedding night to start trying. 32 more days….
the first few times condoms were the worst sex but we’ve managed and gotten used to it.
Post # 8
@debinoxford: We used condoms after I went off BC because it is completely possible to get KU your first cycle coming off of BC. Then we got pregnant, and it took two months after the conception before DH would have sex with me again … sigh.
Post # 9
@jadlnc: “in your days” is seriously the cutest expression ever. My DH calls them my “lady’s days” which kind of makes it sound like I’m going in for a spa treatment.
Post # 10
@debinoxford: I got off the pill in June for the first time in 10 years and we bought a big old box of condoms so that we could wait about 3 months before actively TTC – well that box is still sealed and on my bed stand and 3 months later – we still have yet to get pregnant. I would say the first time we did it without any protection entirely it was a little wierd for both of us but now its okay. We were gonna wait 3 months but then we were like in the scheme of things that doesnt really matter might as well give it the old college try. Plus after 2 cycles off the pill my period is still adjusting itself – it went from a normal 28 day cycle to 32-34 days each time now.
Post # 11
I guess I don’t know what difference 2 weeks makes, but ok. Why not explain to him how a cycle works and how there are only certain days that you can get pregnant? It will be helpful for him to know this as you actively try to get pregnant, anyway.
Post # 12
@debinoxford: I tried to get DH to knock me up the month before we started trying. He would NOT.
I was like “Baby, it’s just two weeks! I don’t even think I’m ovulating this month!”
And he was like “Don’t care. Not this month.”
Post # 13
Guys are just weird about these things. I find, for my DH, it helps to talk about real consequences. So maybe talk about it in those terms – “what would be all the consequences of getting pregnant right now versus next month? What would be so much worse?” Not to talk him into trying earlier, but just to realize that it wouldn’t be all that bad. Also, talk to him about condoms. It’s not fair to either of you to just freeze you out for a few weeks when there’s really no need. Especially when there are things you can do to prevent sex while you’re waiting.
Post # 14
@IAmTheShadow: I think of some kind of lady princess who glides across the room (in a flowy , pink dress) and drapes herself on the chaise with her hand on her forehead…looking oh so forelorn. *sigh*