Post # 1
Let me preface by saying that I believe I have been extremely flexible with my parents. They want some South Asian traditions in the wedding and I was completely open to it. I went from saying no Indian food to saying that it would be neat if we could have some Indian dishes. Yesterday they said that they have agreed on just American style meals and now they have changed their mind again.
I lost it today when they were saying that they will move rehearsal dinner to rehearsal lunch and host a family dinner the night before our wedding. I feel like I am being slighted a bit. They want to celebrate with family, I understand that. But a rehearsal dinner is traditional and important tot my fiance and I. They are most certainly putting their guests before us because they have said in their own words that they owe them back for all the weddings they have been invited to. Then they are saying that they want to use a friend’s banquet hall for our reception so that they don’t feel insulted. It appears that nothing is being done for us and it’s turning into an impress-fest for our guests.
My fiance is fine with this but I really want us to have more say.
Post # 2
Are they paying for the wedding? My parents had little to no say in how we did our wedding, but we were the ones paying for it (and they didn’t have much to input anyway). It sounds like if they are paying for it, then they are very much looking at this as a party they are throwing that happens to be for your wedding, and unless you’ve got something to contribute, your opinions just aren’t going to matter as much. :/ <br /><br />Have you sat down and told them how this is all making you feel?
Post # 3
StephieBee: I have. I would completely 100% understand it but they are flip flopping so much. From saying it will be indian cuisine, to switching to a southern style, to saying they must have desserts and appetizers as Indian. I know they know how I feel. This really isn’t news. They have always been like this.
Post # 4
I’m dreading this for my wedding too. I’m also South Asian and FI is Chinese, so we are going to try and incorporate both cultures. I know it’s going to hit the fan though because my family is like 10x bigger than his.
If your parents are paying for this then I don’t think you’ll have much say. I think you should as it is your big day but I find many South Asian parents consider a wedding as a huge party and an excuse to invite all the cousins rather than making it about the bride and groom.
Best of luck! I hope they stop being indecisive.