Frustrated after ring shopping

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

No advice… but I am sorry.  🙁  I would find a pic of what you like and send it to him. I am so picky with rings.  I helped my dh, but it had some flaws… so 6 years and idk, 4 rings later??, I think we are close to making me a final ring that both of us love, that I will want to wear everyday.

So, if you are picky, or if it will bug you, maybe have a really serious talk about it.

Post # 4
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@ButterflyButterfly:  I think you would find a beautiful ring you both like for $3000. Hell, Kays had a ring I looked out (a solitaire though) that was 1 carat for $3600 but with visible inclusions, which personally wouldn’t bother me at all.

Why does it have to be one carat? For $3000 I think you can find a beautiful high quality diamond that is less than a carat. Also, I know setting can be expensive so maybe get a plain band and save up for a blingy-er wedding band?

Post # 5
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@ButterflyButterfly:  So sorry to hear it was a frustrating experience! My bf and I haven’t gone ring shopping together (and doubt we ever will) but I have given him some feedback as to what I’m interested in. When we started discussing being engaged, I went out on my own to get an idea of what I might like, just so I could give him an idea. Since you’re still undecided, and want to be sensitive to his feelings, perhaps you could say something to him like, “I know whatever you choose will be beautiful/wonderful/perfect/amazing… because it will be from you and a symbol of our committment to each other, but I feel like I would like to give you some input on what I like, I just haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe we can go out to the jeweler again in a couple of weeks.”

It gives you time to shop around and figure out what you like before you revisit a store with him. I always thought I was going to want a square diamond but everything I tried on looked absolutely horrible on me. Now I know I prefer an oval or round and could tell him that (what I end up with, we’ll see). But knowing what your feelings are on a ring IS important.

Another thing to consider- perhaps he likes the cluster and halos because he feels badly about not being able to afford a bigger center stone. You might be able to dodge that bullet if you’re just honest with him, “You seem to like the halo and cluster rings, but I feel it would detract from the center stone. I’m leaning toward a three stone ring….”

It doesn’t hurt to have a conversation with him if you would be truly unhappy with the options he seems to like. You’re the one who’s going to be wearing it!

Post # 6
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Are you willing to get something used? 

That’s how I got around my FI $2500 budget. We bought online at Idonowidont.com and found something amazing.

In reality, jewlerly stores sell used items all the time, they just put a used diamond into a new setting and presto.

Post # 8
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

You are going to need to tell him that you both have very different tastes and you are going to need to be more involved with the ring process. Are you willing to throw any extra $$ in to get what you want?

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ButterflyButterfly:  We have IDENTICAL taste in rings!

Dh surprised me with my PERFECT ring– a 1ct center with 5 channel-set side stones on either side!

But before I got it in the box, I wasn’t sure what I wanted!

I’m sure whatever ring he gets you will be AMAZING!

Post # 11
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I feel your pain. When I went ring shopping months back with FI (still getting use to that lol) I felt like it went horrible I didn’t like most stuff I tired on ..looking for rose gold ring isn’t easy on such a tiny island and budget($2000MAX). We ran into his mother I thought I sounded like a brat vetoing every beautiful ring they suggested. We went to atleast 8 shops that day and I was frustrated and so over the ring shopping thing.  Now I can’t say I had the problem with taste like you and your SO do. My FI said he wanted me to love it and as long as I did and agreed to be his wife is all that mattered. However in the very last shop we could have looked at we found my e-ring. My ring is in no way your style. Halo cluster thick band but I would say I thought I hated clusters to but I love my ring and the way the ring is I wouldn’t change a thing. There might be a ring out there that satisfy both you and your SO taste and works with the budget. My e-ring was around the $3000 mark but they had it at a discount price that was under our budget. Sit with your SO and let him know what you hate maybe putting such a strong emotion to it will make him stick closer to your taste when I told FI I hated 3 stone and solitaires ( they are amazing on other women but I never liked them on me) he never went near those styles lol. Well good luck I hope that you soon find the perfect ring that you both love. Don’t give up :).

Post # 12
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Hm, you could get something just under 1 carat? Mine is .92 and excellent cut etc, so it faces up really well. Once you get to 1 carat the price does seem to jump a bit? FI and I didn’t like any rings in the stores around here and eventually went online – have you had a look on sites like Blue Nile, Brilliant Earth etc for ideas?

Post # 13
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

if you’re pretty picky about your ring and want a bigger size, idonowidont.com would be a great place for you to visit. If you’re fiance is againt buying online or used, I wish you luck at jewelery stores! Jewelry stores can be so different. My local, independently owned jewelry store in my town of 900 people tried to sell me an EGL 1.23 carat F VS2 Ideal cut for 13,550… Yet James Allen (a nationwide chain) offers an AGS 1.24 carat F VS2 Ideal cut for $11,900… 

Post # 14
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 1993

@ButterflyButterfly:  I waited 20 years to get the (upgrade) ering of my dreams….but I think you can get pretty close if you go with a reputable online jeweler.  I bought my diamond from Blue Nile, and then had it set in a setting I picked out from a jewelry store.  That saved us almost $1500, based on what the store wanted for a similar diamond.  If you’re willing to look at stones in the .70+ range, there are many ideal cut options to choose from…You could get a .70-ish stone with one of their multi-stone settings for about $3200…and you don’t have to pay tax since the purchase is online.  James Allen has similar items.  I hope you find your perfect ring…and remember, not everybody keeps their same ring throughout their life…(thank goodness for me!)

Post # 15
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FI bought my 1 carat ring (1.4 carat total with the setting) for $2,700. He negotiated down from over $4,000. It was an estate ring and has some flaws. The diamond isn’t the best quality and the setting isn’t perfect (it had been resized a few times) it doesn’t matter. No one can tell and it’s beautiful. Where you shop and what you’re looking for make a huge difference. I hate to say go with a lower quality, but if you want the size that’s how you’re going to find it in your budget. And honestly, can anyone tell except a jeweler? No. No one’s going to be examining my ring that carefully except me. And I can’t tell and don’t care anyway. 

Post # 16
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ButterflyButterfly:  If he truly does have the money for it… I’d be upset with a budget of $3,000…. My boyfriend knows that my E-ring is THE MOST important thing of our entire wedding… I’ll get married in a park with a few close ppl, but I want/need a nice e-ring.

Sound spoiled? Oh well, it’s what I want

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