Frustrated and broke! I feel like an ungrateful bridezilla!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sofialovesmikey:  You are the guest of honor, not the hostess. Do not give her names and addresses. Do not mail out the invitations.

As Judge Judy says “You need to have clean hands” . If  you mail the invitations you are part and party to inviting these people to your shower when they are not invited to your wedding.

If you keep your distance from the planning, her decisions will have no reflection on you.

Post # 4
23 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

Totally agree with the PP! 

Post # 6
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just give her the guest list you think is appropriate.  Why leave it up to her when she could go crazy?

Post # 7
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Thankfully bridal showers have yet to get here because they seem to be yet another minefield of etiquette! I realise that you are supposed to send invitations to everyone that goes to the shower but since you never asked for it and don’t want it hosted 4 hours from home by an acquaintance, can you not just duck out of it altogether or politely point out the complete impracticality of her hosting it?

If not and your guest list is full anyway then you just buck tradition and don’t invite people who haven’t already had invitations. Whatever you do is going to cause grief so choose the least stressful option!

Post # 8
24 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

No one is hosting a shower for me, and I’m okay with that, but that means my opinion is a little biased in one direction: It might be a tad awkward declining her offer, but if you state you are not going, she can’t have the shower and invite people who will not be getting invitations. That seems like the easiest way to get out of this one. Respectfully and warmly decline her offer and stand firm. 

Post # 9
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@sofialovesmikey:  Maybe she’s hosting this shower because the women want to support you and celebrate your impending marriage. You’ve made it clear that you can’t invite anyone else to the wedding and you aren’t inviting anyone to the shower. In my mind that means you shouldn’t worry about etiquette and enjoy.

Showers are a chance for women in your community to celebrate you, to share stories and advice, and yes to give gifts. I have a feeling that she’s doing this for you and to honor your mom’s memory in her own way.

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