- 5 years ago
Backstory: I was 100 pounds before birth control; when I got on birth control I gained 20, which, at my height, isn’t that bad, I guess- I’m within the healthy range, but only by 4 pounds. I’ve been wanting to shed those few pounds, but until recently, couldn’t find the motivation. My motivation came in the form of a required Wellness class which is part lecture, part physical activity.
Well, the first thing we had to do was run a mile, do push ups, and sit ups. Unfortunately, until now I was a total couch potato and extraordinarily lazy, so yeah, I was sore for about a week afterwards. When SO asked how my first day went, I told him about everything we had to do, and his first response was, “Do you have a video? Because I can’t picture you running a mile.”
I wanted to cry. Yeah, I know I’m lazy and hate working out. I’m completely out of shape and hated the idea of going to a gym- hell, I wasn’t even entirely sure what an elliptical was until a few weeks ago, and I honestly haven’t ventured beyond a treadmill yet. But it’s a start. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and I really wanna make this work. I’ve got a standing date to go walking with my best friend, I’m not so intimidated by the gym on campus anymore, I’ve started watching what I’m eating. And honestly, I felt sore as hell that first week but I felt a sense of accomplishment. After months of saying I needed to start losing weight, I was finally taking baby steps to get there. It wasn’t much, but damn it, I was proud of it.
My SO, on the other hand, has been completely indifferent. Like I’m wanting praise for just getting out of bed. Sure, I’m not running a marathon or bench pressing twice my weight, but it would be nice to have some encouragement to keep me going. His complete lack of interest has been like a blow to the face. I talked to him about that initial comment and how it hurt, but he hasn’t really been supportive. Not in a mean way, but he’s just kind of eh about the whole thing. I get that he is fitter than me- his job is manual labor- but I hate feeling like, because I’m not making leaping strides and dropping ten pounds a week, that my small accomplishment isn’t worth something. I felt like, if my SO doesn’t even believe in me, why should I?
I kinda don’t wanna talk to him because I’m scared I’ll just burst out crying (it’s the home stretch between spring break and exams, and I’m definitely feeling the crunch. It’s making me moody and stressed). I kinda don’t even wanna talk to him about it anymore. I haven’t told him I’ve started tracking what I’m eating on my phone or made plans to ride with a friend up to the school this summer, so I can go to the gym at school while he’s in class. But ever since that comment, my heart isn’t really in to it like it was when I first started. I guess I’m just looking for a little support and encouragement.
ETA: I’m not sure if this should be in emotional or wellness. I’m going with emotional because it’s mostly a vent, and I would feel the same if it dealt with me losing weight or bringing my grades up or planning a wedding by myself, whatever the case may be.