Post # 1
FI and I are on a tight, tight budget for our wedding, and pretty much doing all the work ourselves. We were thrilled to find a friend of my aunt’s who does weddings, who offered to do our reception for us at a discounted rate. A GREAT deal!
Now that we are a month out, I’m starting to feel like the discount she offered us came with strings attached. She has been GREAT in person, but isn’t great about getting back to me in a timely manner and sometimes I just get this *feeling* from her, like we are more of a nuisance than anything.
The latest example has me feeling pretty irate. When we first met together she went on and on about doing our flowers. We explained that my Grandmother is going to do the flowers for us, and she backed off, but also said to let her know if we needed help ordering. She gets a discount from the sellers, so we said we’d let her know. So last week I did. I e-mailed her asking if she’d still be willing to help us order the flowers, and explaining what we need. The description I sent her included what the flowers were for (i.e. bride’s bouquet; grandmother’s corsage, etc), what size of orchid, the number needed for each arrangement, and the color (all of them white).
The e-mail I just got back came across as terse and impatient. She basically said I hadn’t given her any information to work with. So much for guiding me through this.
My response to her was basically never mind, we’ll take care of it. Because it all comes down to that same feeling I get from her– that we are second-class customers because she’s giving us a deal.
I had similar experiences dress-shopping at some of the boutiques. When we explained our budget it was like all desire to help us flew out the window.
Anybody else have any similar experiences? Any words of encouragement would be aprpeciated.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Try not to take it personally… a lot of wedding vendors act like this even if they are charging you up the wazoo and it has nothing to do with the discount. Still, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! So irritating.
Post # 4
I think in this instance, the problem isn’t that she is ignoring you because your on a budget, I think she may be acting this way because she is a family friend. I’ve heard horror stories of hiring family friends and sometimes, because of that connection they feel like they are doing you a favor instead of being 100% professional like they would be with strangers.
Would if be possible to talk to your aunt & explain to her how your feeling, and then have her relay a little message to her friend?
Post # 5
@Annie, That is an interesting theory… my Aunt is pretty blunt, though, and I’m not sure that would do anything to help the situation. As of right now I am just going to grin and bear it. If it gets worse I may consider doing that though
Post # 6
Are you asking for Champagne on a Beer budget? Maybe that’s why you’re inadvertantly annoying her- totally not your fault, I mean how are you supposed to know what’s cheap vs. expensive?
I did flowers for a friend’s budget wedding, (i hate that term, sorry.) She wanted every expensive flower under the sun, which in turn made my job harder.
Maybe you can just touch base with her in person and smooth things over?
Post # 7
i have felt that before with planning, also. If vendors scoff when you ask for a gown that’s under $1000, that’s one less $1000 that they’ll have to pay their bills because if were me, I have went elsewhere. I would ask your aunt her opinion, but if you want to avoid any hassles, just do it yourself.
Post # 8
i have a very tight budget in some areas too, but am finding REGARDLESS of how much we are spending that after we signed on the dotted line, that our service from some vendors has been terrible! for example, i emailed my caterer back in july about amounts of liquor i needed to buy and have heard nothing. i often call/email my hotel coordinator and get no response. if you get bad vibes from her- work around her as much as possible! people seem to promise the world with no intentions of following through and it is annoying! i’m feeling your pain! trust me.
Post # 9
I distinctly remember trying on wedding dresses at Bryan’s Bride here in Vancouver, and the saleswoman was a complete cow to me the minute she found out I wanted a lace dress for under $1000, ideally less. She cut me off mid-sentence, saying “You will NEVER find lace for that price – you better look in the DESTINATION (said with much disdain) section”. I walked out of that store and didn’t go back. I ended up finding a beautiful lace dress at another store that treated me like a queen, regardless of my small budget. I got the dress I wanted for $600, and no alterations were required.
My aunt is also doing my flowers as a favor, but she has been completely unresponsive to a lot of my emails and inquiries. I have often thought the same thing as you. If she is giving you a real hard time, I just really wouldn’t bother. Could you select some cheaper flowers from another vendor? Orchids tend to be among the most expensive wedding flowers.
Post # 10
I’m with Miss. Spaniel, for some reason regardless of how much money you’re spending a lot of vendors act as if they’re doing you a favor. I think those are the spoiled vendors but karma takes care of those nasty peeps.
Post # 11
I’m in the thick of calling vendors right now, and some act dismissive and talk down to me because of our budget. I always thank them and move on, and so far I have always been able to find someone equally good (or better) who can work with my budget).
That said, working with family friends adds an extra level of complexity. Maybe she feels like you’re asking for a lot – orchids are pretty expensive, so maybe you are hoping to spend an unrealistically low amount on the flowers? Unfortunately, I think working with people you know at a discount always comes with the risk of issues like this, so there’s probably no way to fully fix this situation.
Post # 12
Just to clarify for everyone, I do want orchids, but we are not doing flowers like most people do flowers. Just for an example, I am going to be carrying a single stem of orchids, and we are not decorating with flowers at all. Also, she is not a florist– she just happens to get a discount with the flower supplier.
The flower example is just the most recent example of feeling like I’m the bride she has on the back-burner.