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I understand why you are upset but just remember that a gift is not a requirement and you invited them because you wanted them to share your day with you not to buy you stuff!
I think I'm just upset because they were taking advantage of the situation. My in laws said we could have open bar or they would give us money for a house. We wanted our guests to enjoy themselves so we decided to have open bar. We found out that his friends were taking $25 shots of an expensive shot. I guess if you are going to take a $25 shot, you should bring a gift. Just my opinion
I can understand why you would be so upset. This is actually a big fear of mine lol. I know that my BF's friends are very immature (even though they are all 28+) and I know they are lacking in the etiquette department.
I'm just not sure there is anything you can do about it...
If we could change one thing, we would have set some type of limit on the alcohol. Our wedding was like the animal house...beer & wine all over the floor! The caterer said that they have never seen anything like that before and they literally drank them out of liquor and would have kept drinking if the restaurant had more! Word of advice...PLEASE limit the alcohol! We should have taken the money!
I ran this by my fiance, and his response was that he's gone to a bunch of open bar weddings, gotten hammered, and used the "guests have a year to buy a gift" rule. Including several instances of overnighting a gift on day 364 :) I can't promise that your husband's friends are going to pony up, but here's hoping!
I'd be super irritated too. Hopefully they will come thru with something later but I know how mad you must be. It really is rude even though gifts shouldn't be expected.
oh man girl, i'd be SOOO pissed too. no matter what anyone may say about just wanting to be a guest at the wedding and not having to provide a gift, but bottom line, they are adults and that is plain rude.
Please understand bees that I'm not a snob. There were plenty of others that didn't get us gifts and I'm completely ok with that. I'm mad at the guests who took advantage of my in laws generosity...it was a pay by consumption and they took full advantage of it. I can't even tell you the name of a scotch or any liquor for that matter that is $25 a shot
We went to a wedding last month (friend of FI's) and he has not sent them a check. I am about to go buy a card and mail it myself. the check has been written out it's just sitting in his wallet. UGH!
the friends that came, got plastered and no gift - are the majority guys because i just feel guys are a bit clueless about these things?
oh, and i know you shouldnt expect a gift, but i think its rude not to give one as well
goodluck
I think this is a fault of guys. Most of the guys at our wedding (my husband's friends) forgot to get us gifts or just didn't at all. I guess I expect this of guys. But one of his GM got us a Wii Fit and Wii Resort, so he totally makes up for all the ones that didn't! :-)
That does suck they drank (or wasted) $4K worth of alcohol. I guess the lesson learned is not to even offer a $25 shot! Yikes! What in the heck were they drinking?!?
We didnt know we were offering that shot either! we wished the bartender would have asked if that was ok. Honestly, we didn't even think to ask because we didn't know that alcohol like that existed. We only specified vodka, rum, tequila, etc. Future brides..remember to tell the caterer well drinks only!
I agree with you! I would be annoyed with the situation and with no card to recognize the MARRIAGE that took place! It bothers me when people attend weddings as an excuse to drink and eat for free. Celebrate with the birde and groom, not beyond them.
Just take a minute and think about ALL the other people who care about you and your husband. And don't let these minor things get you down :)
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i don't think you're being a snob at all, i'd be perfectly happy recieving no gift but just getting to spend that TIME w/wondeful family or friends and having them share my special day. but it sounds like these guys weren't there to spend precious time w/you, more like to take advantage of the open bar and get wasted for free. i'm so sorry dear!
Great point C. Wishes! We leave on our honeymoon to Cayman tomorrow! I think if we weren't closing on a house in two weeks I wouldnt be so upset. When I think about the dough we could have had...I do get a little bitter. I just hope they had one heck of a hangover
I was thinking - is there anyway you can try and get some of the cost reimbursed for the shots? I feel that the bartender used bad judgement serving those - if anything, he/she should've checked with you or the site coordinator to make sure that it was ok. You could at least ask - the worst they can say is no.
Oh no! I can't believe they drank so much -- that's really too bad, regardless of whether or not you got gifts from them, the caterer saying they hadn't seen anything like it before is a pretty big deal. Who knows, maybe they'll all feel embarassed and make it up to you guys!
Were they aware that it was pay by consumption? If I hear "open bar" my first thought is that it is "open" for whatever you want, and I would assume it is a flat fee, so I better drink up, and get whatever I want (right or wrong, this is just what I associate with "open bar").
Actually, I'd contact the venue about this--it sounds like they overserved if the guys were plastered, and any bartender worth his/her salt knows not to do that! They lacked good judgment and you deserve at least a partial refund.
PS - is that a Kyle Parker jersey? Or am I crazy? :)
We had the same thing happen. Mostly from his single fraternity brothers. It even bothered my fiance!
I was really surprised by people who at least didn't get us cards. Maybe people feel weird doing just a card, or maybe it was bc I was clueless when I was younger, but I don't know...honestly, I have a very different opinion now that I am married, but I can admit I've gone to a wedding w/o a present before! <hides> that was when I was much younger, but even then I usually bought one..since I've been out of college, I only did one wedding w/ no card/gift, and I was probably being a b* bc the bride wouldn't let me bring a date (that she knew) after I'd already purchased a plane ticket to her wedding out of state...(her reception was at a park w/ no assigned seating and a fajita buffet w/ tons of leftovers)...regardless, from now on I swear to at least send a card no matter what hehe
Just because you haven't received gifts from certain people YET, doesn't mean that you won't. We've been married about 6 weeks now and gifts keep coming in.... some people forgot to take them to the wedding, some people wanted to give to us in person, some people just procrastinated in shopping/sending a check, etc. Give it time!
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married last Saturday and of course we were so excited to open our gifts. Well, it turns out that a TON of my fiance's friends didn't get us gifts..no card..no gift...nada! What makes me SO mad is that my fiance's parents decided to cover the alcohol and have an open bar. His friends who decided to get plastered drank over 4,000 bucks worth of booze!! Has anyone had this problem? I'm VERY upset!