Post # 1
FI’s older brother (best man) will be planning his bachelor party. There’s been lots of talk about what the soiree will entail. Mostly it’s been FI expressing that he doesn’t want strippers and his brother telling him that it doesn’t matter what he wants.
I have a problem with this. FI planned his brothers bachelor party a few years ago and the things that happened there were, for lack of a better term, disgusting. FI doesn’t like strippers but his brother and all of his brothers friends do so thats why they had them.
It makes me angry that my FBIL doesn’t seem to care what FI wants to do for HIS bachelor party. I suggested that they go to a comedy show and then out for some beers. FI loved this idea but his brother didn’t. Isn’t this party supposed to be about FI and what he wants to do? If they have strippers, it’s just going to make him very uncomfortable.
Has anyone else dealt with this?
*As a side note, I don’t personally have an issue with it if FI WANTED to go to a strip club. His desire to not want strippers involved in his bachelor party has nothing to do with me.
Post # 3
@UpstateCait: I think it is just rude that his brother isn’t taking his suggestions into consideration. Like super rude. I mean if he wants a private titty tease he can have it on his own time. I think maybe FI should just shanghai the planning and do his own thing with his friends and invite his brother along.
Post # 4
Let him deal with it. Its not your problem especially if your FI doesnt want them and you dont care that much.
Tell him to call his brother and have serious talk with him about it instead of passing comments.
Its the most you can do.
The brother probably thinks your FI is saying that only because he is “supposed” to say that and, therefore, he thinks he is doing him a favor by going against his wishes.
Post # 5
This happened to my husband. His brother insisted on going to a race track when my husband repeatedly told him he didn’t want to (he is not into gambling). When my husband told him he didn’t want to, he said, “It’s not up to you.” My husband was pissed, but it turned out alright as they had a nice meal and he didn’t have to gamble. However, your situation is unlikely to end as nicely!
He needs to have a serious conversation with his brother about why he does not want this party, and put his foot down. If possible I would avoid getting involved, as I think lefeymw is right about the impression the brother will get.
Post # 6
I think this is pretty common. Guys just use the groom as an excuse to party. I wouldn’t get involved.
Post # 7
His brother knows that I don’t have a problem with strippers. The morning after his bachelor party (that was held in a hotel suite, mind you), I went to the hotel to clean up since the suite was put on our credit card. I knew if I left it up to the guys to clean, we would more than likely get charged up the ass for damages. Let me tell you, that was one disgusting room to clean!
But I see where you’re coming from. I do plan to stay out of it since this is FI’s deal. It just makes me angry that his brother doesn’t seem to care about FI’s feelings. Maybe if I insist they invite my dad, he’ll have to forego the ladies.
Post # 8
Idk. I’d say something but that’s me and I say something about everything.
Post # 9
I think your FI’s brother should take his feeling into consideration since it’s HIS wedding!
I am still waiting but we have already had this conversation believe it or not. My bf does not even want a bachelor party because he knows his friends will get strippers/go to a strip club. That doesn’t even really bother me believe it or not as long as there are no lap dances or other grossness going on. He says he knows his friends will buy it for him, give him a hard time, etc. So he just doesn’t want one at all which I think is pretty sad.
If it were up to him they would probably go camping and play paintball.
Post # 10
This is an aside, but I have to question the friends that dont know their friend enough to know they dont want something…
My FH and his friends have all done great things for bachelor weekends. vVery little strip clubs…
But at the end of the day its no the girls job to regulate.
Post # 11
I can see why you (and your FI) would be frustrated. There are so many other things they could do that your FI would probably love to do.
I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand that not all guys are interested in strippers and that there are millions of awesome things that would be fun to do for a bachelors party that don’t involve strip clubs
Post # 12
It sounds like his brother is being a jerk. That sucks for your FI. But this really is between them – I wouldn’t get involved.
Post # 13
his brother telling him that it doesn’t matter what he wants
same with my hubbys b-party, the guy who organized it did it more for himself than anyone else and i think this is quite common
as long as you and your FI are on the same page i would leave it to your FI and his brother. if its anything like my hubbys b-party there will be a group of guys up front and loud and another group of guys at the back, having a quite drink, food and catching up
Post # 14
Bach parties that I have been around are always like this, it is more about an excuse for the friends to do what they want rather than the groom. My FHs friends are planning to go the the girly bars, and the FH doesn’t like them (I don’t care either way), but he is under a full understanding that he will end up there.
Post # 15
If my sister demanded I do something for my bachelorette party that I wasn’t into, I’d have a few choice words.
Post # 16
Hubs told his friends for months that if they planned anything like that (strippers, clubs) then he wouldnt show up. So, he told his friends where he wanted to go and what time to be there, and I dropped him off and picked him up. So maybe your FI needs to tell them that, and lay down the law for what he does want. I really dont’ understand how someone can say I’m throwing YOU a party, but doing what I want…