(Closed) Frustrated w/ my bridesmaid (Long, sorry)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I think a lot of us get disappointed in the wedding process because our friends aren’t there for us when we need them to be.  There have been periods of time where I’ve been disappointed in a bridesmaid becuase I went out of my when when I was in her wedding and now she doesn’t seem to care about my wedding.  Obviously she has lots going on and I understand that – I guess I wish she’d make some sort of effort, but she hasn’t.  And it hurts.  But we’re still friends and it is what it is.

I guess what I’m saying is I understand how you feel.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would drop her as a bridesmaid and give her something else to do for the wedding (like making sure the guestbook gets signed or handing out programs). She might actually be relieved to have that stress off of her.

I had to drop two of my bridesmaids because one wanted to wear tennis shoes and when I told her no she threw a big fit about it. She never apologized, but she is still coming to the wedding. The other bridesmaid refused to be in the wedding unless I made her daughter a flower girl, but since she is an infant she would need to be carried instead of a bouquet and held throughout the ceremony. I thought it was a cute idea until I told her the other flower girls would have butterfly wings on their backs, then she said that was stupid and she wasn’t subjecting her daughter to that kind of embarrasment. I told her then she could still be a bridesmaid and just not carry her daughter, but then she got mad I didn’t want her daughter in the wedding and is now refusing to come. It is okay though, you can’t accomodate everybody!

I may also have to fire my hair stylists who has been doing my hair since I was 7 (my sister’s best friend). I love her to death and want it to work out, but after having her second baby she is having severe post partum depression and one week it was “I am doing the wedding!” and the next “I can’t do it! I’m not good enough!!”. I have a backup stylist in the works just in case, but the wedding isn’t until August, so I am hoping she gets better by then. When we tried to do the consulation she started crying and just walked out the door.

Post # 5
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like she has a lot going on in her life right now, and maybe because you guys have been off-and-on recently you’re taking it too personally when she’s ambivalent about dates/showing up on time for stuff.  She probably isn’t meaning for it to come across that way, so just focus on your other bridesmaids and let her do her thing.

As for getting ready, tell her what time she should be there to get her hair done, and leave it up to her weather or not she needs to take a whole day off or not.  You have six other bridesmaids to help you get ready, so I wouldn’t be worried about that!  It’s probably hard for her to focus on your wedding right now, given that she’s going through a completely different phase in her life.  She’ll get over the phase, try not to let her attitude affect you! 

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