- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I am getting so frustrated with this whole TTC thing. It seems like lately, everyone in our circle of friends and family and even the community at large has been watching us like eagles to see if we’ve procreated yet. I feel like a celebrity, and like people have me constantly under “bump watch”. Both my mother and mother-in-law constantly make (not so) subtle comments about babies/children/grandchildren. Even my friends (some who do know we’ve been actively ttc and most who don’t) ask me constantly if I have any news, or hint around that I’ll have news to share soon.
If we weren’t trying yet, maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much. But the fact that we’ve been trying for 8 months with no results makes it so hard to stomach all the comments. I would love to be pregnant and give our parents a grandchild and all that, but it just hasn’t happened, despite our best efforts. My GYN said, when I checked in with her last month, that we might just be in the percentage of couples that is taking closer to a year to get pregnant. She looked at my charts and said it looks like I’m ovulating and everything looks good. My cycles are normal and I’m healthy. I don’t know what else I can do. I temp, do OPKs, have tried herbs, vitamins, fertilaid, preseed, soft cups, acupuncture, mucinex…you name it, I have tried it! There has to be a problem, otherwise I don’t see how it could not have happened by now. I feel so healthy, eat all organic, have a BMI of 20…hubby is pretty much as healthy as I am or more so. But there must be something inside terrible wrong, is all I can worry about.
I feel so upset and frustrated and wish people would back off me. I really haven’t told anyone we are ttc because I wanted it to be a happy surprise announcement, but as the months dragged past I did confide in a few friends that we had been trying. I haven’t told our families yet though. I don’t know how to break it to them that we might have issues, but it seems like it would be the only way to get them to stop with the incessant comments.
I made a mistake of telling a very loud mouth friend early on that we were TTC. I never should have told her. To be honest, she put me on the spot when she asked me and it just kind of came out. Now everytime I see her she asks if I had any “baby news”. In the hopes of getting her to back off, I recently told her “no, it hasn’t happened yet and we might have to see a specialist soon to make sure we don’t have any problems”. Now, she has a child and thinks mommyhood is the greatest, which I’m sure it is. Anyway, my comment had the opposite effect and made her tell me that I would be ok if I had to live childless and telling me never to consider IVF or other treatments. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, especially from someone who got pregnant super easy. What if we do need those treatments and I have to do them? I just felt really bad. And I am pretty sure she will tell everyone else in our circle of friends.
This whole process is making me feel really bad about myself, depressed, etc. I thought we would be pregnant by now. People’s constant comments just make me feel more dejected and like something is wrong with me.
Sorry, I just needed to vent. 🙁