Post # 1
First, I must say that I never thought I would be writing this post because MY bridesmaids would never do anything wrong **someone slap me back into reality, please**
Seriously though, I really love these girls and I couldn’t be happier that they are in the wedding. I haven’t asked them to do too much with the wedding, except look at pictures here and there, but I really needed them to pick out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses yesterday.
There are so many more details to this story, but the main bullet point is that one of the girls just didn’t show up! We picked a place that was close to her (40 minute drive for me and two other BMs) and rescheduled the time so that she could make it. I didn’t call her to remind her because I was a little too frustrated and didn’t want to be a jerk on the phone. She sent me a text last night at 930 saying “Sorry, I got busy and couldn’t make it”.
I’m not as mad that she didn’t show up as I am that she didn’t call or anything until late last night…
Am I crazy?
Post # 3
I would be super upset too. She should have freed herself from whatever she was doing to be there. A call would have been the least she could have done. Next time don’t pick the place by her, let her drive !
Post # 4
You’re not crazy.
I’m having problems with one of my BMs, too. She’s 4 months pregnant, and she’s telling me that she wants to be in the wedding (when I gave her an out to come as a guest instead due to the pregnancy, which was unplanned) but we looked at dresses 3 weeks ago and I’ve emailed her twice since then with links to maternity dresses and she hasn’t bought one and she hasn’t responded to my emails. I’ve decided I can’t make her do anything, so I’ve adopted a “run out the clock” situation. She knows the dress needs to be ordered by the end of this month. If she doesn’t have one, then I don’t know what to tell her.
Truly, I know how you’re feeling. You can only do so much. You can only try so hard. If she can’t be bothered, then that’s just how it is. It sucks that she didn’t call or text you earlier. I think that was pretty rude and really inconsiderate, especially when the date and time was moved around her schedule.
Aaaarggggh! It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
Post # 5
I would tell her that you and the other girls picked out the dress and then just give her the info! If she is too busy to come help with the choice then she shouldn’t get a say in the matter as you (and the other BM’s) went out of yout way to make it convenent for her!
Post # 6
It sounds like she’s being really inconsiderate. She waited cowardly until a time to “tell you” she wasn’t going to make it when it would be certain she wouldn’t be held accountable (i.e. text message after 9pm WAY after the appointed time). I say just tell her you’re disappointed that she didn’t call you earlier. Did you end up picking bm dresses anyway? She forfeited her vote in the matter, that’s for sure. You could send her a link of the dress and say “This is what WE chose at the appointment.”
Post # 7
You are all so wonderful – thanks for the responses. I’m pretty sure that she forgot until late last night or just thought it wouldn’t matter if she blew it off. Anyway, I will just send her a link to the dress so she can go get it on her own time.
@sn01uh – your story is REALLY frustrating too! I can’t believe she isn’t responding to your emails!
Good luck with her!
Post # 8
Wow, that’s messed up. If she’s not interested in going in the 1st place she never should have made you believe she’d be there. I get it that BM’s don’t really care about the details and sometimes just want to order their dresses, but then don’t make everyone inconvenienced so you ‘can make it’ then don’t show up! That is really mean.
Yes, I agree you should just send her a link to the dress. I wouldn’t even respond to her text if I were you. She’s probably testing you now, to make sure you aren’t mad and I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
Post # 9
my good friend didnt show up to the dress outing i had planned for 3 weeks…and which i went to go around her schedule…however she did call me at 5am that same morning upset, came over and we talked. around 9am i left to go do something before we had to leave to go to the bridal store and she left…when i came home my fiance said..she said she isnt going and left…i texted her and called and she didnt pick up or respond…i am pissed but what can u do??
Post # 10
You have every right to be upset! I only took my Maid/Matron of Honor but she complained the whole way through… 🙁
idk why people can be so insensitive about weddings. Ugh.
Post # 11
@sn01uh where have you found maternity? i have one Bridesmaid or Best Man who will be 8 months. i also attempted to give her an out but it is fiance’s sister an she is determined to be in the bridal party. am trying to be as supprtive as possible but it is ruining the look of the bridal party. am going for a vintage look and none of the maternity Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are vintage looking…i chose a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress which she agreed upon & even tried on…then she emailed me the next am saying it wasnt going to work. am a bit frustrated, i want her to be comfortable and the dress to fit correctly but it is also my wedding. if i was picking simple Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses i would understand but there are sevral layers and cute detailing that makes them special…
i have looked at Alfred Angelo, Bari J…and some others for her. The Bridesmaid or Best Man dress i chose is Alfred Angelo.