(Closed) Frustrated with my husband :(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry.  Men are idiots.

My Fiance is the same way.  He always finds new technology that we don’t need but MUST have.  He also always feels the need to “upgrade” things we just bought.  So frustrating!

Post # 4
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve got a streak of this myself when it comes to DIY projects and other things. I’ll get all convinced I can make some nice pocket money by hand-painting pretty martini glasses, go out and buy a case of glasses and a crapload of paints and brushes, paint one, decide it’s too much like work, then shove it all in a closet. Or I’ll concoct some grand scheme that requires a bigger investment, and carry it all the way through just so I don’t lose the initial investment, which is throwing good money after bad, and end up making a big mess of things.  So it’s not just a “man” thing, although men do seem to gravitate to the pricier toys.

I would ask your husband to sit down and think why he enjoys the “chase” of these projects so much—for me, I was bored, I was lonely, and I wasn’t happy with my life, so I used these projects as a diversion, and to fill a void. It’s not an easy thing to admit!  But it’s a natural response when the human spirit feels a little lost.  Your husband might not have as extreme a case as I did, or may just have a good dose of ADHD and no emotional wrinkles, but identifying why these ideas are so appealing is the first step in managing the response.  A therapist may help, but that may not be needed, really it all depends on where the urges are coming from and why they’re so strong. He may easily be able to identify the source, in which case it’s usually pretty easy to correct. 

Post # 6
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My Darling Husband is like this with hunting stuff… drives me BANANAS!! Actually he texted me earlier about buying a piece of land… I’m like ummmmmmmmmmmm you do know we’re building a $400K house right now right??? I mean come on!!!! 

Post # 7
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fishbone:   This is a very wise and insightful response. 

Post # 8
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your husband sound like me! I always want something but never think thing through! what works for us is that he sits me down and talks out the logistics before making a big choice like that. We also do pros and cons list.

I think he is prob like and me gets overly excited and not even thinking about it! The sitaution he is in right now is scary…make sure he uses this as a lesson!!!

Post # 9
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@pinklemonade12:  Lol, sometimes I’m like that… I can get really excited about things that my SO mentions that “we might do” in the future… but other than doing a lot of on-line research, I’m not one to otherwise jump right in with both feet until the time is right.

As for the US Car buying… I certainly hope that your Hubby has done his homework, because importing a car from the USA can be complicated… both in regards to the paperwork and Taxes that need to be paid, but also for the “mechanical” differences that have to be met (Daytime Running Lights – Emmissions, etc)… so what looks like a bargain can end up costing still quite a bit more in the end.

Here is a link to the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA) Website with more info http://www.cbsa-asfc.gc.ca/publications/pub/bsf5048-eng.html


Post # 10
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can understand the fixation, because I have the same thing myself, but I tend to mull things over for a very long time and discuss them thoroughly with my Darling Husband before going ahead with it … unless it’s clothing.

Your case is a little more extreme than that, and I think the first thing you need to do is to stop giving in, no matter how much he begs because that’s just continuing to enable him.

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