Post # 1
So a while back I made a post about how my FI’s best friend and the best friends FI cancelled their large wedding here in town, which was supposed to be in August. They cancelled in January and said that in about a year they were going to have a destination wedding. My FI was pretty upset because he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to attend their destination wedding since he was paying for my engagement ring at the time, and we were saving for our wedding and honeymoon.
The friends have been engaged for like 9 months or something, and we have only been engaged for a few weeks now. So today, the best friends FI posts on Facebook about how they have another change to their wedding plans. They are no longer having the destination wedding but plan on a backyard wedding in May of next year. My FI posts on the comment saying that’ll be fun, we are thinking of April of next year.
So then my FI and his best friend are texting about the whole situation, and come to find out the best friends FI then says “well we were engaged first, we get dibs on dates and months and seasona etc.”
I am just sooo frustrated. A friend of mine at work already planned her wedding for the original date we were thinking of, granted we werent’ engaged yet. I just want to get married on 4/9/2011 a year after our engagement. We haven’t announced that date yet becuase we had to confirm with our parents, which we just did, and we have to confirm it’s open with the church (I know it will be, but we haven’t been able to get there yet to discuss. They normally onlly let you book nine months out, so we haven’t been able to yet.) I personally don’t care if the weddings are a month or so apart, we’ll still have time to have honeymoon in between and what not.
The grooms men in each wedding will be the exact same, but they may not be having tuxes in their wedding so that’d help. I know that it might not be perfect for the guys to pay for stuff for two weddings in two months, but they have a year to plan so I think it should be ok.
I just can’t believe that someone is rude enough to tell me when I can’t get married. Why do weddings bring out the crazy in people??
(Thanks for letting me vent)
Post # 3
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think it’s crazy, too! I also can’t believe the gall of someone to call “dibs.” If I were in that situation, I would just go about my planning and hope for the best. And if I were feeling really controlling about it, I would make sure to book everything I wanted before the other couple! But since your FI’s friend has changed plans a couple times, it doesn’t seem like he is actually all that controlling, so why is he sweating it… and you? Totally annoying. My sympathy!
Post # 4
Wait…what? They are thinking of having a wedding in May, but you can’t have yours in April?? Ridiculous. Ignore them. No one gets “dibs” on a whole season.
Post # 5
There’s no such thing as dibs…especially since they changed their minds. What if they change them again? I’d say just set a date and if they don’t want to be in the same season that’s their prerogative.
Post # 6
Yeah, apparently a month apart is too close together, and I think they are mad they have been engaged almost a year longer but will be married later… I am more concerned about actually marrying my best friend, and I dont’ care about when others are doing it. I am just going to start planning. HOpefully after next month, when my future in laws are here, we will get to put some deposits down!
Post # 7
One of our friends is getting married 3 weeks before us, and we set our date first. We didn’t care, though we did feel bad for people that were going to attend both, since theirs was a destination wedding.
At the end of the day, while it’s expensive for guests for that month or two, spreading it out further doesn’t make it any less expensive!
Post # 8
Part of being “a certain age” or of a certain time in life, is that inevitably you’ll have a couple years where every summer is 7 weddings and you have no weekends without one going on! To say “You can’t get married this particular season” is ridiculous. I’m sure your friends will deal with having two weddings a month apart, it’s not unusual. Maybe the overlapping groomsmen could look into buying a decent suit rather than doing two rentals, it could be more cost effective for them. You can just swap out the ties to match each wedding.
Post # 9
I agree that you get to apoint where everyone is getting married, so I don’t see the big deal.
@bakerella- good point about investing in a decent suit. We are going with greys suits, I’ll have to check with them for what their plans are! That might work 🙂
Luckily the overlap of guests will really just be the grooms men, so it won’t matter too much for other guests.