Post # 1
Ok….I frequent wedding bee everday but I have never posted anything. Today is the day. Here’s the run down…So I decided I’m going to plan my own wedding, I’m a marketing/PR director and I plan stuff for a living so why should I pay someone. On top of the regular wedding stuff (vendors, decor, invites, etc) my FH decides he needs me to do the following:
1. Go take 3 of his groomsmens measurements to the tuxedo place!
2. Scout hotels for his bachelor party!
3. Reserve rooms at the hotel for his family!
I did #1 but I was not happy about it. These are grown a** men! They should do that themselves. Our tux rental place allows out of town people to reserve online or call in. Why ask the bride???!!!!! I swear this man is clueless and doesn’t get it.
We he asked me to do #2, I snapped. I was pissed. Where is your best man, huh? Why isn’t he doing that??? And I ask again…WHY ASK THE BRIDE!!!!! This beehive led to us arguing because he sees it a me not wanting to do something he asks me to do!!! Can you say clueless? I told him that I have a list a mile long and him adding stuff to it is not right!!!! My freaking hair is falling out!!!! I’M STRESSED!!!
Now #3…since I didnt want to start another arguement, I did it but was not happy. I called and got the hotel discount. The least his family could do is reserve their won damn rooms!!! UGGGGG!!
So, bee hive, I need to know am I wrong??? Did I mention that I have one full-time job and two part-time jobs, planning my own wedding and making my own centerpieces!!!!
Please give me some advice to deal with him!!! I apologize in advance for any misspelled words. I had to get it out. God willing I’m getting married Saturday! Pray for me!
Post # 3
What is your FI doing as far as helping with the wedding planning and errand doing? That’s fine to say that you want to plan the wedding, because it sounds like you are a capable woman. However, your FI still needs to offer a helping hand.
Post # 4
Wow! I’m so sorry for the frustrations your FI is causing you! That is definitely hard to deal with! Is your FI doing ANYTHING to help with the wedding planning? you are obviously busy enough. I know you snapped about the things he’s asked you to do (which is completely understandable!), but have you two just sat and talked about everything? I think it’s really important that you just sit down and calmly talk with him about why he’s frustrating you. I know it should be obvious that he’s being a pain, but guys really just don’t see it sometimes. I always have to lay things out plainly for my hubby before he sees things from my point of view. So tell you FI how you already have enough to do and maybe give him a really simple task list of things that he can easily take care of with help from his groomsmen or friends. Sometimes you just have to tell the guys how it is before they’ll finally see that they’re being buttheads 😀
Post # 5
I’m sure I’m not the only one who will say that the situation sounds familiar! My FI had some tasks assigned to him that were not getting done. I would bring up the checklist and let him know his deadline was approaching or had pass, but it didn’t sink in. Now we have a standing meeting. On Sunday afternoons, we first go update each other on what tasks we have completed, any snags we’ve run into, and what we’re planning on accomplishing in the coming week. We also try to balance the load as well as take a peek at the budget to make sure we’re still on track. Men are naturally not multi-taskers. When I was reminding my FI about things that needed to be done, he was doing other things, and while he may have heard me, it wasn’t really sinking in. Unfortunately we discovered this the hard way (biggest fight we’ve had in years). I would talk to him and tell him that you feel overwhelmed and really need his help. Men like to save the damsel in distress! He just may need a little help recognizing the damsel that needs to be saved!
Post # 6
I’m sorry things are crazy for you right now. I think every bride feels this way before the wedding. You did not need this extra stress right now. I’m sure your honey had no clue what a huge burden he was putting on you when asking you to do all this extra stuff.
With a week to go, there is probably little you can do to get him to pick up the slack, except for telling him that additional tasks are stressing you out, so if there is anything else he needs done, he should figure out a way to get it done! I bet you are his go-to person whenever he gets stressed, and so with all of this stuff, he just went to default mode.
Keep your eye on the prize. You are almost there! (though it seems like your fiance needs an extra-loving bop on the head right now). Can you make a list of tasks that you want him to do so that he can make it up to you a little bit?