- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015 - Suncor Fluvarium
Okay Bees, I’m new to this site (that’s actually a lie, I’ve been stalking the boards for a while, until a few weeks ago I decided to sign up and actually post). I’m not engaged, but I thought that I would be in for a summer/early fall engagement. Here’s the story:
My SO and I moved to Korea for a year, only after being together for a year. It was a wonderful year, and we talked about getting engaged after moving home. When we arrived home, finding jobs was a little difficult, so, we talked about waiting for a year. Made sense, hence thinking about a summer/early fall engagement. So, everything is wonderful on the home front. We have a cozy little love nest, and are thinking about buying a condo in a few years when a new block of them are built. We own things together, but are for the most part financially independent from one another. We both work full time, and have seperate bank accounts.
The other night, I was talking to a friend who said that her SO is going to propose on a trip to Europe in August. She asked about me and my SO, and I said what I THOUGHT we had planned: summer/fall engagement, wait a year, then get married. So, I brought up the subject to him, and he said that he wants to wait until he is financially sound (he just started working again full time after being part time and on-call for the past 6 months), and that he wants to be able to support me.
We have already decided that we are not going to have children, and besides that, I can’t think of any other reason that I would have to dependent on him financially! I am an independent woman, I work two jobs, not out of necessity, but because I love my old job (Youth Care), and my new job (Instructor at a college), and I have a decent savings account. I do not have to depend on him financially, I pay my own bills, I have very little debt. So now he wants to wait for another while until he can cushion his bank account. I even offered to pay 1/2 for the engagement ring because I don’t think it’s fair that I get 2, and he gets one. I would be more then willing to shell out a couple of dollars to get a nice ring. We decided that we are going to have a small wedding, so, saving for that would not be an issue.
So, the point of this rant is: How can I break it to him nicely that I don’t want to be dependent on him, but, I want to be co-dependent WITH him? I want to marry this man, spend the rest of my life with him!
It’s frustrating. It’s like telling a child that they can go for ice cream, and then telling them they have to wait for the weather to get warmer. I’m TIRED of waiting!