- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
We’re about to make a big announcement to our families. The wedding is being forfeited. For the past 2 weeks my FI and me have been arguing, stressing and being overall unhappy little bunnies. Serious doubts and concerns have made me abandon all excitement and giddiness about planning the wedding I initially didn’t even want! I’d “decided” to have a wedding because he wanted to have a big party and be the center of attention. And I love him so much that i felt I should allow myself to give in to the whole thing, because I didn’t want to regret NOT having a wedding and not being a bride. I have never been a “princess” girl. I didn’t plan my wedding from the moment i realized what weddings were, never even pictured myself walking down an aisle. I envisioned us at the historic courthouse in my hometown, me in a wedding dress my best friend and sister and our parents, my closest and oldest friends and a really awesome dinner at a fantastic restaurant or lounge and heading out to a bitchin’ bar immediately afterwards. The entire planning was making me a nervous wreck, i didn’t feel that anything I was doing was natural, it didn’t feel like “US”. I loved hopping onto Weddingbee because there are so many different kinds of brides and I love the enthusiasm and happiness that you all feel. You all are connected by the ebullience of doing something you feel insanley happy about doing. I wanted that feeling too, but the weddng I was planning was not really the one I wanted. I didn’t feel joyful, i procrastinate when I don’t want to do something and that is what i was doing. Procrastinating on everything. I feel like I lied to myself for a few months just because i convinced myself that it was what i wanted. FI and I are taking some time to process this decision, although we’re both pretty sure that this is the best move for us to make. We are both more committed to working through these issues than we are about planning a wedding….not sure what that means for the next few months but I do know that we love each other and we want to together forever. I guess it will just be baby steps from here on out. We need help to make it, we’re both realizing that the most recent argument raised some major red flags and we need to address these problems that keep bubbling to the surface. Have any of you felt that the pressure of planning such an important/special/expensive event has created major changes in your personality?