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First, I'm sorry. I hate when my friends are flaky, especially on things that are so important. Since I don't know your friend, I'll assume she is a decent person (you did pick her to be in your wedding after all), but obviously she does not consider your wedding a priority. If you feel this strongly about her actions and decisions, you should talk to her. Maybe if you explain that the invites to your shower are already out and if she doesn't have definite plans to go to Europe yet she should consider moving her date.
As far as the dress goes, I am not sure you have anything to be upset at your friend over. She didn't ask you to pay for the dress nor do you know the full extent of her finances. Perhaps her new bf is footing the bill to Europe? Or her definition of having no money is different from yours? Money is something that is usually a complaint for everyone, so maybe she just needed to vent.
Sorry your friend is not supporting you as she should. Hopefully she realizes it before your shower and will be there to share the occasion with you!
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I really need to vent about my one of my bridesmaids and get some feedback...
I have three bridesmaids and a maid of honor. One of my bridesmaids, let's call her Mary, is one of my closest friends from college. She's alwasy been a little flakey but when push comes to shove she's a great friend and I truly love her.
About four weeks ago she started complaining about the cost of the dress ($250). Later on that week she told me that she is basically financially supporting one of her parents (who she lives with) and that she has no money, etc. That night I went home and purchased the dress online for her and had it sent to her house as a surprise. I love her, I wanted to help her out, and I did't want her to stressed about something that should be joyful. (SIDE NOTE- our wedding cost will be about $50,000 + my parents are contributing $20,000 and my fiance and I are paying for the rest. We are spending an arm and a leg so every penny counts!!)
Last week my future sister-in-law sent out bridal shower invites. The date is more than a month away. Mary emails FSIL and says- "I might be going to Europe that weekend with my boyfriend. Can you change the date? I think that we might get engaged while we are there." (SIDE NOTE- they've been together for 4 months.)
Now I am pissed: 1) if you can't spend $250 on a dress how are you affording a long weekend in Europe? 2) she hasn't bought plane tickets yet- couldn't they go the weekend before or after? 3) DUDE, it's MY bridal shower and the date was chosen so that my family and my fiance's family could attend. We are not working around your schedule!!!!!
Clearly I am hurt and frustrated by her actions. I feel like I should have chosen another friend to take Mary's place. I don't even know what to do from here I am just so upset. HELP!