- 3 years ago
Okay. So, my fiance and I have decided on an immediate family only wedding with two engagement barbecues in each of our respective home towns for our wedding. Neither of us want anything big or fancy, but we also don’t want anyone to feel that we left them out. My family isn’t religious at all, but the FI’s family is extremely Catholic. His Mom initally seemed to assume that we decided to do the small wedding thing because we live in different countries and we didn’t want a bunch of people to travel. So she continually assured us that they fully expected the wedding to be in my home town so it’s just fine if we do it like that.
I knew she’d have a little bit of a problem with our decision as it’s not what she’s used to. So, whatever, a little pressure to make it a more traditional wedding is fine. I understand. We recently visited them and when they offered to help us with the costs of his home town barbecue I was pretty excited that FMIL seemed to be on board with our plan. Well, now it seems that they’ve offered the money just to have control. We didn’t initally want the barbecue catered, we just wanted to host it and barbecue stuff, possibly with the help of a few close friends, whatever. But then they wanted it catered and they were willing to pay and it really seemed like a silly thing to care about. So fine. A caterer. We found a park to have the barbecue in and a reasonably priced caterer. (We had discussed that just because his mom and dad were paying, we didn’t want to allow that to increase what we would want to spend ourselves, so we got one that would be a price that we would be willing to pay). We emailed them to let them know what we had planned and got an email back saying “We’ve discussed it and we’ve decided that your plan is okay.” And then continuing on to focus on how there will probably be bad weather on that day and we could still have it at her house if we wanted to (even though there will be 100 people invited, it’s a small house, and we’ve told her we don’t want that.)
Now, this isn’t a big deal. I know it’s not a big deal. She might keep pushing for her ideas but it’s not like she’s insisting on her way or being snippy or anything. But this has made me SO upset. So, I made this post to rant. Because I don’t want to complain to the FI, it’s his mom, he loves her, and it’s really such a minor thing. But I just needed to get my anger and frustration out. Also, Hi! This is my first post. Haha. Sorry it’s so negative! Hopefully I can just get over it and move on now!