- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
I’m really needing some advice about forming a guest list. Here’s a little background:
I have a very large family. I was adopted and am close all of my families: my adoptive family, my birth mother’s family, and my birth father’s family. If I were to invite all three familys including parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins, there would be close to 50 people. I’d like to mention that while I’m very close to most of my family, there are some people I haven’t heard from or contacted myself for quite some time. When I was making up my original guest list, I didn’t include them, because to be quite honest, I didn’t even think about them! This included a few aunts and uncles, several cousins, and even my biological grandfather. Still, I know that they love me and would probably be very hurt if they were not invited, especially if members of their immediate family (like their parents/sisters, etc) are invited.
In addition, there are about fifteen really close friends, friends that I consider family (including four that will be my bridesmaids and my mentor who will be our officiant) who I also want to invite.
Our ceremony venue will fortunately be free, however we still have a very small budget, and several more factors to consider.
1. My fiance’s family is also very large and tightly knit. He and his siblings grew up in his grandparents house with his aunts and cousins who are like siblings to him…about 30 family members who will all be attending since they all live in the area.
2. Our ceremony will be taking place on embassy row in DC, and we would like to find a reception spot close by so that people don’t have to travel very far. There are also family members who are very frail and cannot handle going very far or being out for a very long time, so we really want to make it as easy as possible. Unfortunately, the venues close to embassy row also tend to be very expensive.
Originally, we wanted to keep or guest list at around 85, and have a generally child free reception (probably only nieces and nephews allowed). We are having trouble finding a venue that is not astronomically expensive that meets our criteria. We did find one very close by that would require that we cut our guest list dramatically, but is lovely and would be well within our budget. The final guest count for my side would be closer to what my original guest list was before my family put their 2 cents in about who should be invited, just the people that are most important in my life.
I’m considering doing a small reception directly following our ceremony and then a dinner for a very small group ( about 60 people total) afterwards. I really don’t want there to be hurt feelings, and I certainly would not invite family from across the country without giving them a formal reception, which will probably mean I won’t invite them at all…and there may be hurt feelings. How would you handle this Bees? I’m feeling really stuck.