(Closed) Frustration with my new soon-to-be family…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Maybe you SHOULD go to Jamaica.  I kid I kid … Since you work with his family I can see this getting out of hand starting at the wedding and never ending.   Maybe FI can have a chat with his mom and grandmother and let them know that you can handle things, that you two have a vision,etc.  Good luck

Post # 4
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

To me it sounds like they’re trying to help. I would take that as a compliment that they’re happy that you’re getting married to their son and want to be a part of the process. But it is his and your day, so I would just tell them kindly you really appreciate their help but that you would feel more comfortable planning it yourself. And hopefully they don’t gang up on you at the bridal shop, but if they do and try to insist you buy online, maybe show them some of the horror stories?

Post # 5
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are they helping you financially?  I understand this feeling.  I’ve felt slightly awkward/uncomfortable with my FILs even though they haven’t said anything to make me feel that way…

Post # 6
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

So stop telling them things then.  Don’t tell her when you’re off to make a decision, tell her once it’s done.  Stop checking in, take control and behave like the women you want her to treat you like 😉    Easier said than done, but you can do it!

Post # 7
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@tobin: I agree with telling her when it’s done.

Post # 8
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You have to remember that it is YOUR and FIANCE’s wedding. Regardless of who holds the purse strings, you, your in-laws, your parents, etc. If its parents with the checkbook, they should let you make the decisions as long as its within budget. Who cares if your tastes differ with theirs, this is a showcase of your love, not their personal preferences.

It’s so exciting to be doing all of these things that you want to announce it to the world and its hard not to, but sometimes you just can’t for your own sanity. 🙂 Even if you upset your FMIL, she will eventually get over it. You are going to be sharing the same family for quite some time and you will have differences, so you can’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and what you want and think is right.

And about the dress…it’s YOUR wedding dress. YOU are wearing it. Get what YOU want.

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