FSIL (a BM) hates the dress we picked. What do I do now?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Has she actually refused? If she just had a bad reaction, maybe she plans to just suck it up and wear it. In that case, I see no need to change anything. In general, I think BMs should wear what the bride chooses, so long as it’s not too expensive, uncomfortable, or too revealing.

Post # 3
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s one dress for one day… hopefully she’ll suck it up.

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

What do you do? Tell her to get over it. It’s a dress. I hated the one I wore for my cousin’s wedding but guess what? I did anyway. She is will survive another day.

Post # 9
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Laurenplusalex:  Ouch. Awkward.

But I still think you should stand your ground. Saying something like, “Thanks for the suggestion but I wanted matching dresses and I think the one we chose is the best compromise.”

Also if she’s your FI’s sister and they’re close, maybe he can have a talk to her?

Post # 10
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Laurenplusalex:  I would stick with your decision. She could at least have been polite enough to respond to your texts without a prompt.

Post # 11
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Laurenplusalex:  I think it’s a lovely dress and I’d be happy to wear that for any friend’s wedding.  She can suck it up, it’s not like you are putting her in something that is out there or universally unflattering.

Post # 12
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Laurenplusalex:  

She’s being rude.

Bridesmaids are supposed to wear what is requested of them and shut up about it.

At least you took the time to find something that many shapes can wear! 

Post # 13
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Laurenplusalex:  

I love that dress. It is very classic and stylish. Your SIL is being ridiculous. 

Post # 14
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

julies1949:  

Right? She sounds immature and dramatic. 

Post # 15
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

Laurenplusalex:  

That dress is lovely, it’s different and is the sort of thing you could wear again. Plus it’s the kind of shape and style that would be flattering on all bodies and ages, it’s quite timeless too, so when you look back on the photo’s in 30 years you won’t be looking at some sad, out of date fashion trend.

If she says anything negative about it that’s exactly what I’d say to her. Don’t change the dress just for her, especially if the others like it and have started paying for it (do bridesmaids pay for dresses where you’re from?).

She’s only gotta wear it for one day, and afterwards she can sell it on or donate it or something if she dislikes it that much. It’s not her wedding, it’s yours and really not worth getting into a battle over or changing all your plans because she would have preferred something more glamorous. ‘Cos when the weddings over and done with, I bet she doesn’t even think about it when she looks back at the photographs. 

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