Post # 1
So, I had a hard time picking a dress. I wanted my ladies all in the same thing, but with ages ranging from 10-30 it was hard to find something that was age appropriate for everyone, but I thought I finally did. Not low cut, straps, long enough, etc.. One Bridesmaid or Best Man and I tried it on together and she loved it, and said it was very comfortable. Another might have preferred another style, but likes it enough and is trying it soon. Littlest bridesmaid loves it from the picture but needs to see it in person. And that brings us to Future Sister-In-Law, who I assume from her reaction really doesn’t like it at all. She is the most fashionable and glamourous of the bunch, so I expected our tastes to be different, but really hoped I could find something for everyone. I absolutely love the dress, and really don’t want to be back at square one, but I don’t want Future Sister-In-Law to be uncomfortable either. Help!
Post # 2
Has she actually refused? If she just had a bad reaction, maybe she plans to just suck it up and wear it. In that case, I see no need to change anything. In general, I think BMs should wear what the bride chooses, so long as it’s not too expensive, uncomfortable, or too revealing.
Post # 3
It’s one dress for one day… hopefully she’ll suck it up.
Post # 4
brighteyedgirl: my thoughts too. she can suck it up.
Post # 6
She has not refused. These are our texts
me: this is the dress J and I are looking at Monday. I really like it! (picture)
Future Sister-In-Law: no respone
me, one day later: hey were you able to see the pic I sent you?
Future Sister-In-Law: yes
me: ok good
a few days later
me: J tried on the dress today and it looked really cute
Future Sister-In-Law: Aw, good
So after that I thought, okay, maybe we’re good. Then today she sends me a pic of a dress that she likes, which is totally different from the one I picked. I’m hoping she’ll come around, but I’m really getting the feeling that she hates that dress.
Post # 7
What do you do? Tell her to get over it. It’s a dress. I hated the one I wore for my cousin’s wedding but guess what? I did anyway. She is will survive another day.
Post # 8
coffeedrinker: not sure I have any on my laptop and I’m out, so stealing from the website, lol. I don’t know this lady. I can understand not loving it, but don’t think it’s so hideous that she should object to it
Post # 9
Laurenplusalex: Ouch. Awkward.
But I still think you should stand your ground. Saying something like, “Thanks for the suggestion but I wanted matching dresses and I think the one we chose is the best compromise.”
Also if she’s your FI’s sister and they’re close, maybe he can have a talk to her?
Post # 10
Laurenplusalex: I would stick with your decision. She could at least have been polite enough to respond to your texts without a prompt.
Post # 11
Laurenplusalex: I think it’s a lovely dress and I’d be happy to wear that for any friend’s wedding. She can suck it up, it’s not like you are putting her in something that is out there or universally unflattering.
Post # 12
She’s being rude.
Bridesmaids are supposed to wear what is requested of them and shut up about it.
At least you took the time to find something that many shapes can wear!
Post # 13
I love that dress. It is very classic and stylish. Your SIL is being ridiculous.
Post # 14
Right? She sounds immature and dramatic.
Post # 15
That dress is lovely, it’s different and is the sort of thing you could wear again. Plus it’s the kind of shape and style that would be flattering on all bodies and ages, it’s quite timeless too, so when you look back on the photo’s in 30 years you won’t be looking at some sad, out of date fashion trend.
If she says anything negative about it that’s exactly what I’d say to her. Don’t change the dress just for her, especially if the others like it and have started paying for it (do bridesmaids pay for dresses where you’re from?).
She’s only gotta wear it for one day, and afterwards she can sell it on or donate it or something if she dislikes it that much. It’s not her wedding, it’s yours and really not worth getting into a battle over or changing all your plans because she would have preferred something more glamorous. ‘Cos when the weddings over and done with, I bet she doesn’t even think about it when she looks back at the photographs.