FSIL accused us of stealing her thunder

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@walnutgirl:  I would just ignore her.  Anyone who thinks someone else plans a major life event for the sole purpose of stealing their thunder is completely narcissistic.  I would just keep playing nice if you see her, but let your FI handle any remarks about “stealing her thunder.”  It’s amazing how self absorbed people can be!


Post # 4
6674 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you handle it by being the bigger person, by not letting it get to you, and by always doing the right thing on your end. You two may never be close, but if you are consistently pleasant and civil she can never say anything negative about you.  

Post # 5
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@walnutgirl:  So when does her thunder end? When her child graduates from college? She’s being ridiculous. Ignore the “stealing thunder” comments, there’s nothing you need to defend yourself over.

But you can’t expect her to travel for your wedding, and maybe that’s her real issue. (Knowing she probably can’t, or can’t afford to, travel with a small baby).

Post # 6
1834 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@walnutgirl:  she sounds kinda nuts. Ignore ignore ignore!

Post # 8
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@walnutgirl:  Just let it roll off, I am assuming that you and your FI are newely (within the last few months) engaged…..well it may be a hot topic for now, and she may just be feeling jealous, hormonal and insecure, esp since the brother lives farther away, it went from her being the center of attention to sharing it….just give it time, as it get closer to baby time, then the focus will be back on her and hopefully shell back off….

my best advice is just let it roll off, and ignore it….shell get over it….esp when you get into planning and the wedding isnt the hot topic until closer to time…

Post # 9
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you send her a link to this website and she learns that the idea of stealing someone’s thunder is childish. I’m sorry you are in this position

Post # 10
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@weddingmaven:  +1

Super lame of her.  Sounds like you haven’t done anything wrong.  Unfortunately not everyone will have a SIL in law that they love.  I agree with others who’ve said to try to let it roll off your back.  The best revenge is being the bigger person.  Others will see that she’s being petty as long as you don’t engage in the drama.

Post # 11
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 @walnutgirl:  Ignore, and be prepared when she throws a hissy fit if she is not included in the bridal party. You are every right to not have her.

Post # 12
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s SO obnoxious! I’d ignore her. She’s being riddiculous!


Post # 13
103 posts
Blushing bee

You definitely have to ignore it.  Something similar happened to my parents. They had been trying to have me for 5 years. My aunt found out she was pregnant three months before my parents did, and when they told her she slammed the phone down.  She also still hates me lol.  There is just nothing you can do, just keep living and enjoying life!

Post # 14
1806 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD Aug '15

Ugh, how long would she expect you to wait? All the way during pregnancy? After it’s born? Until its first birthday? How ridiculous. IGNORE. If she were jut being hormonal because she’s pregnant I’d forgive her but it sounds like she’s just a rude person.

Post # 15
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@walnutgirl:  I would say that maybe its the hormones making her obnoxious, but it sounds like she’s been this way for a while – maybe they just made it worse than usual.

I would ignore her behavior for now. She’s being childish. Continue being polite and civil when you need to interact with her, if only for the sake of the rest of the family. At the very least you have an Ocean seperating you from her.

Post # 16
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@walnutgirl:  I would definitely just ignore it.  How long does she expect that you wait to get engaged?  Almost 9 months + (because if she’s pissed now- she’d be upset you were getting engaged when baby is being born!)–  other poeple’s lives don’t have to be put on hold just because someone else is having an exciting event!

Not to mention- I’ve never been a fan of people who are all about other people “stealing thier thunder”- if people want to shower you with attention for a reason, they will.  

Same goes for white at a wedding- people aren’t going to forget who the bride is!!


Congrats!  Kill FSIL with kindness- she won’t know what to do with herself!

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