Post # 1
FSIL hates me and has done everything she can to try and break Fi and me up and make it clear to me that I will never be family to her. After 9 years and kids we finally decided to get married it was going to just be the jop but it has turned into a small but big wedding. We are now getting married at our reception venue and hubby to be decided we should have a bridal party. He asked his sisters husband to be his bestman(they have become good friends over the years)… then asked his brother to be in the party, so I asked his brothers wife to be a bridesmaid(we were both in their wedding and only felt it right to ask her to be in mine). I don’t plan on asking his sister since she hates my guts, we haven’t spoken to each other in over a year, been at functions and she acts like I’m invisible….I know drama is coming because its what she does best, and I can understand being the only one not included and being hurt but at the same time I don’t understand why you would want to be involved in something you don’t want to happen…. any advise on how to avoid the drama and added stress???
Post # 3
Oh honey, I am almost in the same boat as you. I despise both of my FSILs. They don’t like me, either, I don’t think. I’m planning to have FCIL as a BM, but I’m not asking FSILs. I know they’re going to be pissed. FMIL will probably be mad, too. But, I’m not having people who hate me in my wedding! If I were you, I’d stick to my guns. Don’t allow her to be in your wedding when she treats you so awfully. That will end up ruining your special day. If she gets mad and confronts you, tell her exactly why you did not ask her.
Post # 4
I was in the same boat, except I chose to ask her to be in the wedding, and it was a huge mistake! Stick to your guns.
Post # 5
Discuss the potential problems now with your fiance so you are both on the same page.
Have a canned response that you both tell anyone when or if it comes up.
Just say “Sister hasnt spoken to me in over a year and she has demonstrated to us that she doesnt approve of our relationship. If I am wrong I would love for her to come and talk to me” And don’t give examples, or justify or defend. Just stick to that- both of you.
Post # 6
Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. She doesn’t mean well for you. So have your wedding as drama free as it can be expected without her being involved. I’m sure SOMETHING will come up no matter how dipolmatic you try to be. So just keep planning your day and ignore the hater.
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice..I’m sure the explosions are coming saw FFIL the other day and could tell he was mad with me but didn’t say anything to me. Him and honey are going golfing in a few days and expect something to be said then. tried talking with my honey about it and now he is trying to put her not liking me off on him because he used to ask her for advice(we’ve had a bumpy relationship). He kind of feels that we should include her now…I said have her wear black dress and stand on your side but he says that will look horrible.. I’ve got a million other things on my mind as we are less then a month away and I’m dealing with all my final meetings with vendors.. feeling like I’m gonna snap soon:'(